Local cats could be about to start talking just like a cat on Youtube, below, in what could be their biggest evolutionary step so far as they start to pick up vocabulary from locals.
"That should be an Olympic sport, done by people in jet packs obviously." Jimmy Popper, PE Teacher
"I don't get Samsung phone flavoured water, but I totally get cheesy feet flavoured water. Mmmmhhh...." Kent Rugby, Flavoured Water Executive
The cheeky smile on a local man from Layer Under Haye, who died last year, has finally been explained after his name was found on the Ashley Madison database.
"Did anybody count how many thin people were in that queue?" Jessie Krufts, Twitter Troll
With Vacation, the new comedy starring Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off, opening this week in Lower under Haye, everyone is swooning at the buffness of the Hollywood superstar who came to Layer under Haye in August 2006 on a family holiday before he found fame.
In the video, the clearly angry Corbyn asked some question or other which the prime minister answered after removing her owl shaped glasses, popular at the time.
"I bet $1 Donald Trump would approve of that." Kent Rugby, Political Commentator
As Australian authorities move to ban Vegemite from sale in some communities because it is being bought in bulk and used to make alcohol, we sent our reporter to find out what the alcohol made out of Vegemite actually taste like. And what we found out may shock many of our gentle readers.
James Bond was stopped from boarding a flight after his weapon made the airport machines go off.
"I lose complete control of all my body's emissions when I sneeze. Just know that, fans, before inviting me to a sneeze party again." Jimmy Popper, Nurse
"I need to get me some Thug Life sunglasses. Or a pretty bird." Jimmy Popper, Punches Above His Weight
Summer holidayers across the world have been warned not to eat ice creams while crossing busy roads, according to the United Nations.
"How tall is that Police Officer if that camera is her body cam?" Jessie Krufts, Shortist
Microsoft announced the release of what could be their last Windows operating system this week and it made us cry with pride that we have been using Windows for years.
"I hope they aren't expecting milk from these teats." Kent Rugby, Shirtless Dancer
"But on the other hand, if little cute puppy there got a splinter in the underside doing that, that would be the howliest, gnarliest, sound you have ever heard. It would dissolve that smiley child's face into a red mass of water and sobby half spoken breaths. Even I would downclick that." Jessie Krufts, Incinerator Manager
Jeremy Corbyn, the most lookilikie to Father Christmas of all the Labour Party leader candidates gave an interview on the telly today.
Japanese company Mitsubishi was criticised last night for saying sorry in a comedic Japanese accent, it was claimed last night.
"Shame the black guy with a similar YouTube channel was shot dead by the police for that though. It looks sooo much like a gun..." Jessie Krufts, Police Commissioner