Within that rare moment of self-awareness, Evans says he suddenly realised that he’s unlikable tit who’s lucky he caught on in the laddish Zeitgeist of the 90s when everyone was a loud bellend.
Farage, who was staying overnight in a hotel after a beautiful and poignant speech to the EU, was pictured inserting a cigar up his own back passage. It’s believed the Leave figurehead was trying to blow smoke up his own ass.
Dr Bobo, an Oxford University professor, is convinced that Crabb could be the missing link in the evolutionary chain.
Whyman, an employee at Argos, bought himself the stereo as a summer treat using his staff discount. And the sound system has clearly impressed the whole neighbourhood.
The sudden interest in family lineage has little to do with history and everything to do with fans who are desperate to hop on the Wales bandwagon after they beat Belgium 3-1 to secure a place in the Euro 2016 semi-finals. A feat not accomplished by England since Euro 1996, twenty years ago.
In the middle of a rather uncivil war, Jeremy Corbyn has seen over half of his Shadow Cabinet resign, and even some of the replacements have since stepped down. Desperate times call for desperate measures, which must be why Corbyn was spotted with a clipboard, pleading for people to join the Cabinet.
‘All you need to do is look at the man and the claim certainly passes the eye test,’ said political analyst Dick Skinner. ‘He’s a rubbery mass of ineptitude.’
Not much is known of the new candidate, but members of the Parliamentary Labour Party are said to be immensely impressed with her political ideology as well as her charisma and leadership ability.
The decision was made as part of a campaign to lower suicide rates in North Korea, who currently have the second highest suicide rates in the world. Anyone who attempts suicide, and fails, will now face an embarrassing and painful death on North Korean television.
The vote came as part of a snap referendum to help take Brits’ minds off the absolute political chaos going on in Westminster, where headless chickens and politicians are virtual indistinguishable.
Trump stood on a raised platform with four lights beaming behind him. During his speech he turned to them and addressed them.
Watts was convicted after the jury found him guilty of forcing people to watch him vape as well as talking incessantly about his ‘hobby’. He will serve a six month sentence for the heinous crime.
The change will be enforced by the Country’s United Naming Trust, one international body that even Britain can’t leave.
The move came during an attempted coup on the Labour leader in which over half the shadow cabinet stepped down in protest at Corbyn’s leadership.
The petition has already been signed by over 200,000 England fans who are worried about what will become of England and the Euro 2016 competition without them in it.
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been rushed to hospital with multiple stab wounds to the back after a frenzied attack took place just hours ago.
With some avid points savers having thousands of Nectar points on their cards, they are now better off than ever thanks to Brexit.
As voting progressed, thousands of Leave voters took to social media to advise fellow Leavers to use a pen when they voted so that their ballot couldn’t be tampered with. The movement quickly drew derision from Remainers.
Lee Knotts, 24, has admitted he cares little for football and will only watch ‘the big games’. That didn’t stop his work colleagues mocking him relentlessly for not knowing which team will knock out England in a dull, uninspiring game.
It promises to be one of the tightest elections in modern history with most polls declaring each side within just a point or two of each other. Even on voting day, many are still undecided on which shaft they’d rather be buggered by – a good, traditional British shaft, or one with more continental flair.