Ben Harris, 29, from London, has persuaded himself that is practising yoga as the only man in a class of 20 is purely for stress relief and to improve his flexibility. The fact that he has tried his luck with six female members is purely coincidental, he said.
Campaigners for Bill Cosby to become president of the US have now admitted that their candidate may now be too inappropriate to run for office, with his imminent trial for assault making him slightly less palatable than Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.
‘If only there'd been some way to know in advance that a man who changes his name from Smith to Rocknroll and has a meaningless job his uncle Richard Branson gave him out of charity would turn out to be a bit of a dick,’ she said.
Michael Gove claimed that the car was clearly a wreck and that Cameron should have simply walked OUT of the garage in Minster Lovell, Oxfordshire. However, Cameron apparently remained IN the workshop to try to negotiate a series of improvements.
With a resurgence in fears of both Godzilla and Romanians, British filmmakers have discussed another possible reboot of the Godzilla movie franchise by pitting the Japanese monster against a Romanian immigrant.
Seadon has recently been convicted on three counts of grievous bodily harm. She also continues to remain housebound under electronically tagged curfew. ‘My friends say I’m really down-to-earth and SO easy-going!’ she remarked after placing her cat in the microwave.
Smart Alex
'I turned up for the gig in my hot pants and a pair of casual flatties and heard the director say 'no, no, no, that'll never do' and I thought 'there goes the hot pants'.'
Amongst their fears, Muirfield players cited that women members would ruin their golfing traditions with slow play, idle chatter and ‘the devil’s menstruation’.
Wrexfan
'Health and Safety was a passion of Hitler,' remarked another, 'with the idea that all workers could be equally safe no matter which state they worked in.' Another historian added, 'and where do we start with Human Rights?'
A Surrey couple is enjoying a deep sense of fulfilment today because their new detached home in Guildford is the largest amongst their peer group. Recently married Tom and Pippa Whittaker are now eagerly arranging a housewarming party to underline the vast difference in floor space when contrasted with the homes of their best friends....
Willing to litigate until the cows (or his chickens) come home to roost, the late Lord McAlpine was a staunch defender of people’s reputations – provided they did not work for him in the construction industry.
Service enthusiasts Abellio Great Anglia are to replace their London Liverpool St to Norwich service with the Jakobshavn Glacier from Greenland, it has emerged.
Amidst David Attenborough's 90th birthday celebrations, a dark side has been revealed to his extraordinary longevity which implicates him in the uncommonly high number of celebrity casualties this year. Sources close to several of the dead, including Prince and Paul Daniels, have spoken of a visit by Sir David in the run up their deaths, followed by the discovery of a large black leech on the underside of their beds in the days afterwards. One friend of David Bowie, who wished to remain unnamed, said "Attenborough has enormous experience of rare species and has spent time with some of the mos
This week, North Korean teletubby Kim Jong Un has strained relations with UN member states by refusing to sign the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Photobombs. The happy-go-lucky despot has called on all war-mongering nations to 'lighten up and embrace the fun of unprovoked sabotage'.
Research carried out by the RSPB shows over 3 million birds over the age of six are still living in the nest where they were born, unable to move out of the family home or afford a roost of their own.
University of California Gender Studies major John Warshofksky complained: 'I never sat down at a meeting until I was sure every woman had arrived, to make sure I wasn't depriving a woman of a seat.
A group of human body parts, both gender-specific and universal, have joined to demand that the British people cease making analogies between them and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne.
Leicester City Council say they would like to thank manager Claudio Ranieri for helping clinch the Premier League, by burying him under a layer of sub base hardcore, a scree topped off with 50mm of prime and 'all weather asphal'.