Who are the mystery celebrities protected by latest super injunctions? Are they actually dead - but only for tax purposes? Tabloid makes sensational claims!
In celebration of our hundredth issue and our hundredth editorial, we present some classic rants against Tory bastards, middle class kill joys and horrible hipster beards.
Is 2015's Celebrity Holocaust the Work of the 'Star Whackers'? Or is it Result of Cull of 'Bad' Celebrities by Secret Moral Fundamentalist Conspiracy?
Our readers' incredible stories of celebrity sex encounters! Did Rod Hull and Emu engage in a kinky three-in-a-bed romp? Did a young hippie really 'duke the Duke' in 1973?
Are Recent Sex Scandals Really Diversionary Tactics Designed to Misdirect Public Attention Away From Prime Minister's Tax Problems? Journalist Claims Secret Spin Doctor Masterminding HIgh Profile Events and News Stories to Divert Attention From Government's Real Problems.
Tory MP Calls for Ban on Bouncy Castles Following Series of Fatalities. Are Deadly Inflatables Alien Predators Preying on Human Children, or Terrorist Plot to Kill British KIds?
After Man Hijacks Airliner With Make Believe Bomb, Top Tory MP Calls for Action Against Terrorists with Imaginary Weapons. Demands Schools act to Stunt Children's Imaginations to Prevent them Becoming Radically Over Stimulated.
Where is Jesus? With the Messiah Sixteen Years Overdue for Second Coming, We're Offering Five Pounds to the Reader Who Spots Him. Remember, You Must be Carrying a Bible and Say 'You Are Jesus Christ and I Claim my Five Pounds' When you See Him to be Eligible for the Prize.
Outrage as Academy Awards address diversity issue by having DiCaprio accept Best Actor Oscar in black face. Act of 'solidarity' condemned as offensive and ill judged stunt.
Is Donald Trump the Devil's Spawn? Preacher Demands Presidential Hopeful Produces Birth Certificate to Prove he was Born of Woman and Not of Jackal.
Were Successive Nazi, Soviet and US Attempts to Create 'Dead Sexy' Soldiers Capable of Using Sexual Energies to Remotely Kill Inspired by Secret Buddhist Priesthood? Did President Kennedy Fall Prey to Russian 'Sex Assassin'?
Secret Terror Trial Reveals British Muslim Youths Radicalised by Mad Mullah's 'Radicalisation Booth'. Unsuspecting Islamic men Lured into Fiendish Device and Transformed into Crazed Jihadis!
New Documentary set to Expose Bizarre World of Islamic Fundamentalist Pornography. Amazing Claims of Burqa clad Nudes and Extremist Sex Comedy Films!
Secrets of the Celebrity Sex Addiction Clinic Uncovered! Top Sex Therapist Reveals How Top Celebrity Sex Addicts Cured by Suppressing Their Orgasms!
Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.
Police Announce Plans for Special Squads to Snatch Cakes, Chips and chocolate from Fat Women as Top Doctor Warns of Super Sized Terror Threat Posed by Female Obesity in UK.
Chancellor Plans to Boost UK Manufacturing by Forcing Poor to Literally Consume Goods. Scheme to 'Eat Deficit' by Conspicuous Consumption Condemned by Economists and Medics Alike.
Political Storm Over Tabloid Claims About Corbyn's 'Disrespectful' Pose in Labour Nude Charity Calender. Party Denies Allegations of Leader Using Poppy to Cover Privates in November Picture.
English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is 'Christmastein Monster' Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?
We're asking our readers to donate their unwanted adult DVDs and Videos to our annual appeal for needy perverts this Winterval. Please give generously and rest assured that your smut will go to a good home.