Government plans to break junior doctors' dispute by using blackleg alternative medical practitioners, including voodoo priests, spiritualists and shamans, revealed. Patients complain of use of animal sacrifices instead of pharmaceuticals.
Right wingers demand EU 'clean beaches' regulations be abolished post-'Brexit', Demand right to dump British sewage on British beaches without EU interference. Suggestions that immigrants' excrement should be repatriated to countries of origin.
Does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn possess divine powers? Supporters tell of Corbyn's seemingly miraculous ability to defeat government without winning Commons votes. Socialist Messiah or useless crackpot?
The mainstream media declares war on 'fake news' - except the 'fake news' which appears in their own pages' Did the media ctually create the 'post truth' era it now rails against?
Church of England in turmoil as top Bishop comes out as atheist. Claims lack of faith no obstacle to being good Christian!
Was Mother Teresa of Calcutta behind Illegal bare knuckle fighting ring? New book bizarrely claims noted missionary fought other nuns for big money in underground bare knuckle bouts.
The plot of this sixties exploitation movie involves the 'daughter' of de Sade giving a bloody good thrashing to various leading members of the establishment, including the aforementioned Tory MP, a High Court Judge, a Bishop and a minor Royal, in order to expose the hypocrisies of the ruling classes, showing that they themselves are practitioners of the very same sexual perversions her ancestor was persecuted for writing about.
Man banned from having sexual intercourse without giving police forty eight hours notice. Authorities claim his orgasms so powerful they induce frenzied sexual activity in anyone in close proximity.
Police Accused of Overreacting After Massive Evil-Smelling Fart Sparks London Terror Alert. Flatulence Subsequently Deemed 'Spontaneous' Rather than Being Deliberate Chemical Attack.
Is alleged 'Robot Suicide Bomber' that took out episode of 'Robot Wars' vanguard of new 'Techno Terror' campaign by Isis? Fears that household appliances could be reprogrammed into killers by radicalised repair men after housewife suffers near fatal washing machine assault.
Sheriff's Deputies in US South ordered to black up in order to avoid being targeted by black snipers. Local Sheriff also believes wearing of black face by white officers will also take racial element out of police brutality.
Did Her Majesty The Queen lead English football hooligans against Russian thugs at Euro 2016? Extraordinary allegations as top hooligan claims armour clad Jeremy Corbyn rallied English hooligans in Marseilles.
If Jeremy Corbyn is the answer, what, in God's name, was the question? Can the Labour party muster sufficient momentum to oust Corbyn and his entryist supporters and take the party back for real Labour voters?
Is Boris Johnson the notorious Balham Buggerer? Top paranormal investigator claims Boris' inner Turk unleashed under stress as he regresses into Turkish great grandfather to commit depravities.
Does 'Leave' Campaign Have Contingency Plans to Launch Military Coup in Event of 'Remain' Victory in EU Referendum? Sensational Claims that Farage and Other Brexit Leaders Plotting to Seize Power!
Florida Preacher Denies Exploiting Orlando Shootings to try and 'Cure' Homosexuals by Organising Donations of 'Heterosexual' blood for Injured. Claims Two Pints of 'Real American' Blood Will turn Recipient Straight.
Boris Johnson shot by police after manhandling child who climbed on his podium during Brexit campaign. Was former Mayor trying to protect child or had he gone ape?
Is Boris Johnson the 'Top Trumper' Behind Super Injunction to Gag Reporting of Explosive Farting? Neighbours of Unnamed Top Politician Tell of How His Early Morning Wind Breaking is Destroying Their Lives!
As 'Whip and Tell' stories involving government ministers proliferate, Tory back bencher launches private members bill proposing new code of conduct for sex workers involved with politicians.
Are HIpster Beards Really Alien Parasites? Is Human Race's Only Hope a Salesman Capable of Destroying Horrible Hipster Beards Through the Power of His Mind?