As an agorophobic woman watching Coronavirus spread around the world these last few months, I've experienced a variety of emotions. Sadness, of course, over all the lives lost. Anxiousness, naturally, at how many more will get sick and how long this nightmare will last. But also one more. One more that up to now, out of politeness, I've refrained from divulging but can hold back no longer. One that can be pretty much summed up by one expression: "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"
Two months after the United States announced it's first fatality due to the Coronavirus, the nation's death toll surpassed 60,000 this week - or less than 3% of the Vietnamese killed during the Vietnam War, the Trump Administration pointed out today.
In the blurred new reality of quarantines and stay at home orders, one man has conceived of a new name for all the days of the week that for many have lost all distinction: Sturmwedonfrituday.
Members of right-wing movements opposed to government-imposed Coronavirus restrictions staged raids of intensive care units in multiple states yesterday, "liberating" patients receiving care for COVID-19 infections.
Flipping the script on a decades-old campaign, one small town in New Hampshire is now urging it's youth to choose drugs over hugs in order to fight the Coronavirus.
With the start of the Major League Baseball season postponed indefinitely due to the Coronavirus outbreak, members of the Houston Astros are reportedly keeping at the top of their win-at-any-cost approach to the game by cheating around the house.
Addressing a less-often discussed issue related to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Fauci recommended this morning that Americans sexually self-gratify in order to limit the spread of the virus.
As hoarding and supply chain worries continue to make reliable access to toilet paper Americans' top concern during the Coronavirus pandemic, the Porter family of Powder Springs, Georgia are one of many already reporting a shortage of the most essential product.
The vaccine, a conjugate of multiple un-inactivated strains of COVID-19, has reportedly been shown to generate a strong immune response against the virus within a modified threshold of acceptable side-effects.
The jigsaw puzzle industry warned today they will likely not be able to keep up with the surge in demand they expect as a result of the expanding Coronavirus pandemic.
As scientists around the world rush to try to engineer a vaccine that can halt COVID-19 in its tracks, hope for the first such prophylactic came to a disappointing halt yesterday when it was shown to not cause autism in children.
The Bradshaws of Torrance, California awoke this Sunday morning to what they're describing as a "gift from God" when they discovered as many as half a dozen rolls of toilet paper hanging from the trees and shrubbery in their front yard.
A new report released by the White House today credits the leadership and expertise of President Trump in the midst of the ongoing Coronavirus crisis for stemming a greater outbreak and saving millions of lives.
Working tirelessly since the first American was infected earlier this month, a group of Christian scientists say that they are nearing the completion of a new prayer that will "utterly destroy" the Coronavirus.
Coronavirus-related fatalities continued to spike across the United States yesterday as three more Americans were shot to death after being mistaken for the potentially deadly virus.
Republican Senators announced today that they have suspended their investigation into the role Hunter Biden played as a boardmember of the Ukrainian energy firm Burisma to focus instead on Shlomo Sanders, the 52 year-old autistic son of Bernie Sanders who works at a zoo.
Troubled wide receiver Antonio Brown was carted off to a mental hospital today, earning a polite round of applause from many across the country.
Celebrating the completion of their partisian duty to acquit the President of the articles of impeachment brought against him by the House of Representatives, GOP Senators on Capitol Hill are offering their sisters for Trump to (make love to).
It all started in kitchen Friday. Halfway through cooking some cong you bing for lunch, I try to open pantry drawer, only drawer not open, so I try again harder, snapping spatula culprit inside and knocking backward against pan, catching curtain on fire! Then, while putting out fire, smoke alarm go off and scare cat, who jump out window I open to let out smoke! Bu yong xie! I find kitty half hour later by Hop Lee dumpster, but that's just start!
Representing an unknown percentage of the total number of fetuses the president has had aborted during his lifetime, the spirits of the unborn Trump offspring were unanimous in their preference to have been given an opportunity to live during a mass seance in Atlantic City Saturday.