Mouthfrog

Ever since his separation from his wife of 40 years, Tipper Gore, friends say that the former Vice President has become harder and harder to reach.  Al Gore is best known for his environmental education efforts after his political career ended.  Gore is reportedly dating a fellow environmentalist who introduced him to Netflix.  The Nobel Peace Prize winner is now addicted to the television show The Walking Dead.

Boulder, CO – Several studies have been conducted about how much bacteria food will collect when dropped on the ground.  This phenomenon, known as the “5 second rule,” has been a point of contention amongst scientists for years.  Is it ok to eat food that drops on the ground or should it be thrown away immediately?

Saint Paul, MN – Scott and Marcie Hennings had never been to the zoo with their now 4 year old daughter Jessica.  In fact, Scott and Marcie had not been to any zoo for years themselves.  Scott recommended a family Saturday outing to the local Como Park Zoo and Conservatory.  Everyone was excited to see the big cats, rhinos, and giraffes.  With backpacks full of binoculars, sandwiches, sunglasses, and a small bottles of Bacardi, off the Hennings family went on their adventure.

Santa Fe, NM – Dr. Phyllis Ackers has been in the field of psychology for nearly 30 years.  She has a successful practice and has always done things by the book.  Dr. Ackers made a radical change within the last year that others in the psychology field are taking note of.

Seattle, WA – Another NBA season is over with the draft quickly approaching. New draft picks means new hope for cities with NBA teams. “Everyone is excited about the NBA games coming back to their cities.  All we have left is our shitty WNBA team,” says Superfan Paul Gainer.

Silver Spring, MD – The average individual walking around eating street vendor food and smoking Winston cowboy killers probably hasn’t thought much about it.  If you step back for just a moment, though, and say the word Riboflavin, you realize just how fun it is to say.  It rolls off the tongue.  It makes you feel good.  Go ahead, say it ten times.  You will start to dissect syllables and parts of the word that are fun by themselves.  To say the word Riboflavin all at one time and in its fully glory is darned close to being more fun than anyone should really be having.

Twin Falls, ID –  “We see this far too often.  A lovely family having a picnic at the park and, wham, there is a large bear to scare them off.  These bears may sit down and eat the entire picnic or even eat the family.” 

Hermitage, PA –  Seth Robbleson is a dedicated husband and on all accounts a pretty good father.  He’s been happily married for 12 years and has 2 beautiful daughters and son named Bruce who they recently enrolled in boy scouts.

Little Rock, AR – Just when you thought you had all of the simple stuff figured out, some brainy white-haired guy from a local Community College tells you that you’re wrong.  Such is the case with Dr. Brian Sloss, who teaches a variety of different classes at ‘Little Rock – Big University.’  

Albuquerque, NM – Nelson Rimsplat has been unemployed now for several months.  He was fired from his job at the Albuquerque Zoo for ‘behaviors inappropriate and not in line with the the Zoo’s image.’  For the 3 year Train Zoo Conductor, the firing has given him a sense of liberation.

Knoxville, TN – Another tragedy has occurred.  This senseless act of violence, once again, is difficult to explain or understand why we choose to harm one another.  The details of the crimes are still developing but here’s what we know so far.

Pomona, KS – Hollis Christopher Walden III is a genius.  No one knows exactly what his IQ is but let’s just say that he confounds even fellow Mensa members with his appalling brilliance.  

Washington – Being the great buddies that they are, President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden recently took some time together to watch their beloved Washington Nationals play some baseball.  Given morbidly boring nature of the game of baseball, the two had some time to chat about things other than baseball.  

Chicago, IL – After a near death experience while riding in Zabib Welhunij’s cab, I had to ask him.  Did you know you almost got us killed multiple times in only a 5 minute ride?  What is wrong with you?  It’s not the first such experience I’ve had in a cab.  His answer surprised me.

Athens, Greece – Meetings broke Saturday evening without an agreement on whether other nations will provide Greece its third financial bailout since 2010.

Danica Patrick’s recent run in with Dale Earnhardt Jr. at the Quaker State 400 have unleashed a raging pile of female hormones.  This woman is pissed off.  Are they hormones are is it just a really angry young man with long hair and effeminate features?  Probably only a select few know that answer for sure.

Portland, ME –  Malcom Werner and his wife Pippy came to an agreement about 6 months ago.  Malcom would stay home with their 3 kids and Pippy would be the breadwinner of the family with the accounting work she does.

It is believed that Jesus joined the social networking scene soon after Tim Tebow returned to an active NFL roster.  He, or his Father, did text several of the current presidential candidates so it’s really hard to tell when the arisen one has returned.

Superficial exterior wall or other object intended to deceive others into thinking that exuberence means happiness; usually overbearingly brash and over the top. More times than not an overcompensation to cover up small man’s syndrome or a want to kill oneself due to emotional emptiness.

Gurdon, AR –  Lucas Gibbs found himself in Arkansas visiting some old friends with a bit of time on his hands.  Everyone was outside playing football and Lucas could not participate due to a recurring knee injury.  Gibbs found himself sitting on the couch with nothing much to do.