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ARTISANAL PRESS — If you’re in the doghouse this Valentine’s Day, then don’t feel too badly. This year, as it turns out, you’ll have some bluechip companionship with you. That’s because of social media fall-out over Google’s decidedly insensitive “Go Ogle” Valentine’s Day greeting, which is one of several randomly-served logos appearing on the search giant’s homepage today.
ARTISANAL PRESS — Research recently published in a peer-reviewed journal suggests that the latest generation of political radicals in the United States is, itself, undergoing a radical change. Dr. Mike Godwin, behavioral & political scientist at Reed University, claims that a large number of twentysomething radical leftists — many voting for the first or second time in their lives — are getting fat, and changing their voter registration to Democrat.
PORTLAND, OR — "We had no idea the nasty stench that stuff was covering up."
PORTLAND, OR — It’s like a scene from some post-apocalyptic atomic nightmare, from some dystopian science fiction film. But this is no cautionary tale of potentially-avoidable future foibles — this is present-day reality, unfolding right this very afternoon, right here in Portland, OR. And it’s coming down on us just days after people in southern states were themselves sprayed en masse from the sky, with a similar [though plasticine] compound.