Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
To symbolize the risks one takes when they pledge loyalty based only on shared blood, one small razor blade will be hidden in the macaroni scramble.
I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.
What’s that word? Apathy? I was apathy, bro. No, wait, empathy. I was empathy. My bad ha!
Doctors always say things like "watch that cholesterol." They are unwarrantedly suspicious and overtly vigilante over an entire group. It's profiling!
The following program is in a 24-hour feed from the woods behind a dormitory and is rated "NC" for nest cam.
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
The anecdote of how you got the Sublime sun tattoo on your arm was, well, compelling, but my wife-to-be has never listened to “40 Oz. To Freedom.”
Supplements are filled with patented-yet-unpronounceable ingredients originally designed to make racehorses faster and more prone to heart attacks.
With the precision of a casino dealer cutting a deck of cards, I scooped two large scoops of vanilla ice cream and put them into the frosty mug.
Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
Could be difficult for a broader audience to empathize with protagonists who are all young, Thai boys. Angelina Jolie has just become available!
"I’m fiscally conservative in Q1" or maybe just a simple ":(" ?
Bureaucrats will waste zero time before pointing fingers and disrespecting the men, women, and children I'm about to systematically mow down.
It's no wonder you stayed hidden from me all these years: you portray a real person better than anyone I've ever seen.
Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.
Davy Crockett actually wore his raccoon-skin cap as a functional warning to other raccoons not to climb on his head while he was sleeping.
I have the world's best memory, so when I woke up this morning and couldn't find my car keys anywhere, I knew Crooked Hillary was to blame.
Goosebumps books have captivated young readers for generations. Here's a sample from the latest entry in the beautifully written series.