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Merrick

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"At the risk of sounding nepotistic, there would be nobody more competent to serve at the UN than Ivanka, and nepotism would have nothing to do with it," the President remarked. "There would be absolutely no nepotism."
President Trump took to Twitter today to unveil the first half of a top-10 list of who he considers the country's most boring presidents. The list began as follows:
82 Year-Old Abigail Pederson of Augusta Township, Ohio took another significant step into the 21st century this week when she learned how to share her vaguely racist observations on Twitter, her family reports.
Two weeks into all the hoopla surrounding Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination, I have just one question. Seriously? A man who grew up during the 80s and only sexually assaulted 2 3 5 women is a bad guy? Seriously?!
In order to achieve FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) experts advise an individual's net assets should equal at least twenty-five times their annual cost of living. The following are some (not) useful tips for reaching this goal
A lot of bad things have been said about my husband Les Moonvez in the press lately. That he's a sexual predator. That he's a creep. That he exploited his position as Chairman and CEO of CBS to coerce women to submit to his crude sexual advances.
Showing marked declines in all major categories, President Trump's latest polling numbers reveal that support for his performance in the White House has shrunk to mostly just meth heads.
The deep state has gone to a disturbing new level according to one Missouri family who claims the shadowy group impregnated their 16 year-old daughter with a black baby.
In what some are calling a publicity stunt likely spurred by the attention John McCain's recent passing received, President Trump announced his own death on Twitter this morning.
Addressing on Thursday the latest wave of sexual abuse scandals to have rocked the Catholic Church, Pope Francis vowed to keep the molestation of children by members of the clergy to a minimum going forward.
Video footage of Lindsey Graham engaging in what appears to be a sex act with a woman leaked onto the internet today, dispelling any suspicion and all possible future evidence that might suggest that the third-term Senator is gay, his office says.
Facing the prospect of falling out of the Little League World Series after losing their first two games by a combined score of 24-3, the boys from Clarksville, Tennessee did just that Tuesday, dropping their match-up with North Platte, Nebraska 13-0 and embarrassing themselves and the entire Volunteer State in the process.
President Trump took his ongoing feud with former White House staffer Frederick Douglass to another new level this morning, calling him 'lazy' and 'a cacaface' on Twitter.
According to multiple posts on the online social network NextDoor.com, President Trump has managed to slip away from his Secret Service detail while on vacation in Bedminister and is currently loose on the streets of the small New Jersey town.
Officers of Norwegian Cruise Line Hapag-Lloyd released new information today on the fatal shooting of a polar bear on Svalbard Archipelago last week, revealing that the 600-pound all-white bear was in fact armed at the time of his death.
The modern world is such a topsy-turvy place these days. Everyone is going a hundred miles an hour, doing five things at a time, would it be any big surprise to any of us if we found out that at some point over the course of our hectic lives that we killed a few prostitutes? That in the midst of all those work meetings and family gatherings, press junkets and business trips that we bumped off a hooker or two?
The Trump Administration gave endangered status to five species of White American Wage Earners today, replacing the Northern Gray Otter on The Endangered Species List. In a tandem move, the administration also eliminated every other animal and plant from the list.
48 year-old Rick Motter of Sarasota, Florida etched the letters 'JO' into the back of his hand with a ballpoint pen this morning, a quick reminder to his future self to masturbate later in the day.
Def Leppard announced today that they have replaced longtime drummer Rick Allen with Carlos Moreno, a one-armed itinerant percussionist from Chihuahua, Mexico.
Speaking to members of the press for the first time since tendering his resignation as Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency on Thursday, Scott Pruitt vowed that he would continue his war on the environment in his free time as a citizen.