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Coronavirus-related fatalities continued to spike across the United States yesterday as three more Americans were shot to death after being mistaken for the potentially deadly virus.
Republican Senators announced today that they have suspended their investigation into the role Hunter Biden played as a boardmember of the Ukrainian energy firm Burisma to focus instead on Shlomo Sanders, the 52 year-old autistic son of Bernie Sanders who works at a zoo.
Troubled wide receiver Antonio Brown was carted off to a mental hospital today, earning a polite round of applause from many across the country.
Celebrating the completion of their partisian duty to acquit the President of the articles of impeachment brought against him by the House of Representatives, GOP Senators on Capitol Hill are offering their sisters for Trump to (make love to).
It all started in kitchen Friday. Halfway through cooking some cong you bing for lunch, I try to open pantry drawer, only drawer not open, so I try again harder, snapping spatula culprit inside and knocking backward against pan, catching curtain on fire! Then, while putting out fire, smoke alarm go off and scare cat, who jump out window I open to let out smoke! Bu yong xie! I find kitty half hour later by Hop Lee dumpster, but that's just start!
Representing an unknown percentage of the total number of fetuses the president has had aborted during his lifetime, the spirits of the unborn Trump offspring were unanimous in their preference to have been given an opportunity to live during a mass seance in Atlantic City Saturday.
Yang, who made his disclosure this morning on Twitter, has since offered scant details of the assault with any of the major media outlets his revelation has garnered him attention from.
The Senate impeachment trial of President Trump convenes this week, and for a variety of reasons most Republican members of the upper chamber of Congress want to play no part. The following are the most common excuses members of the GOP have given to dodge their duty.
9 year-old Make-A-Wish recipient Connor Banks had a busy first day as the newest member of the Milwaukee police department Friday, "solving" a robbery and shooting at several unarmed African American bystanders.
With rising tensions between the United States and Iran fueling concerns over a new war in the Middle East, the Pentagon today sought to address the fears many American parents are expressing regarding their children's health and safety should they be drafted.
"8%. Not bad," he remarked, calculating from his laptop's browser history the 42 minutes out of his 8-hour workday that he spent on web porn.
Three years after a national poll found that 46% of Americans believed in Santa Claus, a new survey shows that a similar number continues to have faith in the (not so jolly) fat man in the White House.
Brighten up your home, office or day-care center with an assortment of Christian-themed Christmas coloring pages! They're all here, from the Incredible Hulk taking Jesus down from the cross to Mary contemplating throwing the newborn Messiah down a well. Simply cut, color and glue these pictures to a wall or window and enjoy the warming glow they'll infuse into your living or work space this holiday season
A stark contrast to Time Magazine's selection of Climate Change activist Greta Thunberg as their Person of the Year, Fox cited the Wilmington, North Carolina girl's 'quintessentially American' lifestyle for their decision to honor her.
"People have to flush 50, 100 times," President Trump announced to the press this morning.
Bullock, who in fact won over virtually no one during his seven-month-long candidacy, will reportedly also be stepping down as the head of the Bullock household, according to members of his family.
Calling an offensive by the Spanish Republican Army against Spanish Nationalist forces that took place over 80 years ago outside of Madrid, "Cowardly and terrible," President Trump pledged his allegiance to the Franco-led fascists in a tweet this morning.
President Trump continued to push back on the impeachment proceedings against him today, suggesting that he would reject any budget resolutions Congress should pass in the coming weeks unless any and all charges against him are dropped.
Thousands of fantasy football managers were left high and dry Sunday night after wide receiver Robert Woods was deactivated at the last minute by his real-life team for "personal reasons".
Citing increased headwinds and an evolving market in Southeast Asia, Hewlett-Packard announced Thursday plans to lay off Kyle.