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Though details have yet to emerge, it can be deduced that the 79 year-old Easy Rider star was one of possibly a dozen or more residents and staff killed when an as-yet identified shooter stormed the nursing home in which he was living and opened fire with a high-powered assault rifle.
"For years and years the White Aryan race has been loosing power to the mongrel races. This must stop!" So begins the manifesto of Aiden Vogel, a 22 year-old White Supremacist who attempted to commit a mass shooting outside a Denver-area Lowes this week, calling into serious question not only his own supremacy, but that of Anglo Americans in general.
Somehow left empowered to determine highly impactful fiscal policy over the world's largest economy, the ape, which is actually a rare species of short-armed orangutan, sent global markets reeling this morning after a year-long temper tantrum culminated in the Chinese devaluing their currency.
A research article appearing in this month's first-ever issue of Ladies Science reveals that ocassional butt play can significantly reduce a woman's chances of developing butt cancer.
A staunch advocate of Trump's policies and avid follower of his Twitter feed, Morales has dedicated the last two-and-a-half years to taking his first steps towards becoming a US citizen "the right way" - including learning English from none other than the President himself.
Local grandmother of six Carol Macey was made the victim of a public grandma-shaming at the home of one of her three daughters Saturday, the 75 year-old has reported.
Commenting that, "It was just time," Paul family spokesperson Robin Paul thanked her son for the 34 years he's spent as a son, father, husband and sibling to her and her husband Charles, his brother C.J., his wife Jada and their two children.
In a dramatic turn of events surrounding the case against Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire financier walked free from a Manhattan courthouse Thursday afternoon as charges of conspiracy and evidence tampering were being filed against each of his accusers.
"There were fighter jets and tanks and real-life soldiers and all kinds of stuff," Lupke said. "Also, I had an ice cream cone and a whole big bag of popcorn all to myself."
Eric Trump took home the first-ever Nobler Prize today, a new award invented by his father to recognize achievements in science that will be "much more prestigious" than the Nobel Prize, according to the President.
Another baseball fan was injured by a ball batted into the stands yesterday, causing some to call 'foul!' on the Hispanic players they suspect might be intentionally targeting white spectators.
The White House announced today that the first of several planned clones of Donald Trump has been generated, a first step towards enabling his administration to extend decades, if not centuries.
According to police, the very bad dog waited until his master, wife and two small children were asleep before intentionally starting the blaze using several dishtowels he piled atop the stove.
Citing the dozens of deaths and disappearances that have occurred in each during recent months, officials announced today the planned destruction of Mount Everest and the West Maui Forest Reserve.
Featured during the program's weekly birthday segment, a portrait of Mengele - also known as the 'Angel of Death' for his role as head physician at the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland between the years of 1940-1945 - appeared in between photographs of Donald Rumsfeld and G. Gordon Liddy while Ingraham praised his, "Dedicated and significant work in the field of medical science and personal freedom."
Leaked to the media despite his wishes to keep the results confidential, the final tally of the competition reveals a President who is not only the most calm and collected individual to currently work at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but possibly to ever have ever served as Commander in Chief.
It's only twenty months until the next election, so if you're like most Americans and are running for President, it's time to kick off your campaign! The following are some tips that could help you achieve your goal...
According to many who know fashion but not nearly as well as Olivia Jade, the world's collective sense of style has degenerated precipitously following Giannulli's self-imposed exile amidst the college admissions scandal enveloping her family.
Appearing approximately 23 minutes into the eighth season's fifth episode, a Toyota Highlander Sport SE can be seen pulling into the background of a shot featuring Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow, another flagrant anachronism for a production still trying to laugh off a similar gaffe after a Starbucks cup was left in a scene during last week's episode.
Lori Loughlin has signed on with the Lifetime Network to appear in a new reality program that will document the actress' story of perseverence in the face of the ongoing college admissions scandal that continues to swirl around her and her family.