Check Please!

Avatar
Merrick

0 Following 2 Followers
The first in possibly a series of debates between presidential candidate Kanye West and his Ninja Foodie Deluxe Multi-Cooker reportedly ended in a draw last night after a spirited 2 hour-long exchange.
Friends report that 32 year-old Aiden Schaeffer of Fort Myers, Florida died tragically less than 20 TikTok followers short of 100k Thursday afternoon.
A shocking new investigation into the origins of COVID-19 has revealed that the deadly virus was in fact engendered by deviant sex acts perpetrated by Dr. Anthony Fauci and Hillary Clinton on a hybrid wolf-man late last year.
With more totalitarianistic state and school district officials across the country declaring that schools will remain closed in the Fall to reduce the number of people dying of CoVID-19, parents will have to continue to supervise the education of their own children. The following are some tips for homeschooling your kids:
Freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These are the three pillars upon which America rests elevated above all others. They are the foundation for what makes this country the greatest in the history of mankind, and are the reason that I, JT Bell, proud patriot, will sacrifice absolutely nothing for it.
Taking the Daytona Mercy Hospital ICU by storm yesterday afternoon, several members of Woody's Tavern did their best to lift the spirits of some of their patrons currently suffering from COVID-19.
A sextortion email purportedly authored by the Coronavirus itself that blackmailed President Trump against taking action to stem the COVID-19 pandemic has been linked to Russian operatives, the FBI revealed today.
COVID-19 is no joke, Dave. Millions have been infected, hundreds of thousands have died, and its just getting started. People not adhering to public health guidelines to avoid crowds such as this Vanilla Ice rap performer is bound to attract has already caused a recent spike in cases, and as a result the country now stands on the brink.
FDA head Eric Trump announced today his discovery of a cure for COVID-19 he made from a combination of soft drinks from the soda bar of a Golden Corral this afternoon.
His poll numbers and approval ratings sagging amidst waves of social unrest and scandal, President Trump has caused many political strategists to scratch their heads by choosing to hold a rally in the middle of a deadly pandemic Saturday - all but assuring the deaths of dozens, if not hundreds or more of his own supporters.
The statue, a knife-wielding 5'4" likeness of the diminutive man otherwise known as "The Hitchhacker" or "The Red Neck Charles Manson" for his sadistic slaying of as many as 100 people, has stood near the entrance of the city's main highway since the year of his execution by electric chair in 1991.
One week after sister city Minneapolis defunded their own police department, the city council of St. Paul, Minnesota voted unanimously today to replace their entire police force with dogs.
Commencing at 0900 hours per the President's own tweet, the assault against the gathering of local residents buying and selling fruits, vegetables and organic personal care products reportedly cleared the market in mere seconds, leaving it a shattered landscape of ruined tables, canopies and crushed melons as people ran for their lives from the blitz of armored tanks and infantry.
As tensions continue to build between protestors and the police over the death of George Floyd two weeks ago, many across the nation find themselves yearning for the recent simpler times of only having to constantly worry about contracting COVID-19.
Pegg, a non-pussy who spent his last days fighting government overreach by forbidding patrons from wearing protective masks inside his bar, reportedly drowned in his own fluids like a real man.
President Trump once again got into a confrontation with a reporter during a White House press briefing this morning, this time questioning CBS News' Wanda Scifres existence.
One week after mobilizing the military to distribute a potential future vaccine against COVID-19, President Trump shocked the nation this morning when he announced that he has already approved just such a vaccine, and that widespread distribution among registered Democrats will begin immediately.
With a wide range of businesses and services remaining shuttered due to the Coronovirus pandemic, people are developing new skills for things they've previously hired others to do for them. From cooking their own pets to inking their own tattoos, folks are more self-sufficient than ever. Perhaps no DIY project is more important however than one's own mental health, as diagnosing and preventing any early-stage mental illness is more crucial than ever. The following are some tips for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being during these difficult times:
As an agorophobic woman watching Coronavirus spread around the world these last few months, I've experienced a variety of emotions. Sadness, of course, over all the lives lost. Anxiousness, naturally, at how many more will get sick and how long this nightmare will last. But also one more. One more that up to now, out of politeness, I've refrained from divulging but can hold back no longer. One that can be pretty much summed up by one expression: "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"
Two months after the United States announced it's first fatality due to the Coronavirus, the nation's death toll surpassed 60,000 this week - or less than 3% of the Vietnamese killed during the Vietnam War, the Trump Administration pointed out today.