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Patrick Riot
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Expressing gratitude to the NRA for protecting their right to bear arms, people who spend every waking hour trying to get into the White House are glad they don't have to worry about anyone taking their guns.
After strangling their boss at a status meeting this week, the 7th floor staff celebrated some new perks, like being able to wear jeans. And also discussed how to dispose of the body.
Discarding the possibility that war, job loss, income inequality, or ballooning deficits could be the biggest threat facing the US, Congress selected Mark Zuckerberg as the main cause of the nation's struggles.
Make America The Best celebrates the 50th anniversary of the release of Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, "2001: A Space Odyssey" with this re-imagining of the climactic scene featuring a rogue computer named DON.
Surrounded by a host of confusing messages and a lack of sensible leadership, Americans looked to the players and ownership group of the Sacramento Kings for spiritual and moral guidance.
Thinking he was joining an Eastern European 13-day dream vacation tour group at the airport, Paul Manafort expressed surprise when told he was in the company of expelled Russian diplomats.
After a tumultuous year working with General HR McMaster as National Security Advisor, President Trump announced he would be replacing him with TV personality and tactician HR Pufnstuf. Let’s see how they compare.
Hoping to capitalize on Vladimir Putin's decisive electoral victory, President Trump says Republicans can build on that momentum in 2018 US Midterms.
A man holds no ill will toward a basketball hoop that insulted and teased him when he was a young player, even for the comments about his shoes.
Despite the president's promise to enact gun legislation and stem the carnage in US schools, painful bone spurs have torpedoed any chance of progress.
In a bold move to force the Chinese to reduce their trade deficit with the US, President Trump enacted tariffs on his next door neighbor.
After a raucous night of partying following the conclusion of the 2018 Winter Games, athletes awoke to a harsh reaction from the Head Dean of The Olympic Village.
Reacting to a growing tide of anger at the organization, and fearing for its safety, the NRA asked Congress to ban gun control advocates from owning guns.
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After viewing several hours of curling, an irritated President Trump called staff members to the White House, saying he wanted an Olympic gold medal sent over Monday morning in honor of his victory in the 2016 US Presidential election.
Fans of the Philadelphia Eagles filled the streets of their city to celebrate the team's Superbowl victory last night by burning down the hall where the Declaration of Independence was signed.
In the first known plan by a group of fish to overthrow the federal government, the FBI announced they had foiled a plan by sharks to storm the White House and eat the staff and President. The President has called on congress to fund a new "Shark Wall" to be built around the entire country.
After receiving a few too many text messages while on vacation, a local man has decided he is going to have to let his boss go.
Citing “creative differences” and a need to explore new territory, President Obama announced he was leaving the Ex-Presidents to pursue personal projects.
The inadvertent alert, which sent millions of Hawaiians scrambling for cover, would never have happened if it weren't for those pesky orange jellybeans.