BarbedWireSatire

PALMYRA, SYRIA (The Barbed Wire) - It appears the remodeling bug has hit the terror group ISIS in the Middle East. The group recently signed a deal with HGTV for a show in which a camera crew will follow the terrorists around to various locales as they turn the once historically rich region into the world's biggest sandbox.

CUPERTINO, CA (The Barbed Wire) - At Monday's Apple developers convention, a new function of the Apple Watch was announced that could let the world in on a dirty little secret - should the information ever go public. The Apple Watch, a device that will eventually perform so many functions and will know so much about us that it will become the closest thing to a deity that most people have ever known, will actually track and record a user’s masturbation schedule, frequency, intensity, and location.

One Suit, Two Suit, Red Suit, Blue Suit By Dr. Zeus One pantsuit Two pantsuit Red pantsuit Blue pantsuit Black pantsuit Blue pantsuit Old pantsuit New pantsuit This one has a little stain This one will repel the rain Say! What a lot of Pantsuits there are. Yes, some are red and some are blue…

Reviews are mixed, but fast and cheap.

THE HAGUE (The Barbed Wire) - The latest power rankings are out for the world of terrorism and there is a new sheriff in town. For the first time in the organization's history, terror group ISIS has garnered the top spot, unseating perennial favorite Al-Qaeda.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - In an emergency session, and while they're hot in their pursuit of rewriting what is right and wrong in our society, the Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision that people of one race can change races on a whim. The case was brought about from the Rachel Dolezal case.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - In a ruling lost in the more newsworthy and controversial decisions handed down by the US Supreme Court last week, was another major victory for the homosexual community. In a 5-4 decision, the Court ruled that gays do have the right to write and publish satire.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): A study released today showed Americans have a distressing ignorance about the history of the United States, including its founding. Approximately 78% of surveyed Americans either incorrectly identified the country they celebrate independence from or refused to identify the country while claiming they wanted to see if the researcher knew it first.

SURF CITY, NC (The Barbed Wire) - Marine biologists are saying that the local shark population are "jumping the shark" in their attempt to bolster ratings for The Discovery Channel's Shark Week television show which started this week. "Jumping the shark" is a term used to describe some gimmick used as an attempt to keep viewer's attention.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - The Donald announced today that because he was tired of listening to all the crap in the media about Hillary Clinton's inevitability in 2016, he has called the media's bluff and paid enough voters to back him - they're now all under contract to do so.

NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Barbed Wire) - Following Hillary Clinton's recent interview with CNN's Brianna Keilar, the Democratic candidate faced many of the same criticisms that have plagued her during her entire time in public life - The woman is just not warm, personable, and relatable, but rather a cold, calculating, conniving, power hungry witch.

FLORIDA (The Barbed Wire) - While most gays are now living a blissful, carefree life since the Supreme Court granted them the right to marry, some people are just never satisfied. This is a true but tragic story and will shake your faith in humanity to the core.

OKLAHOMA CITY (The Barbed Wire) - After the most recent defacing of a monument in this town, sources have revealed that the #BlackLivesMatter movement now controls most of the paint in America. The paint hoarding is causing hardships for the housing, automotive, art, and paint-sniffing communities.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Because of his thoughtless comments about senator John McCain being captured during the Vietnam war, Republican Party Chairman, Reince Priebus, has ordered that presidential candidate Donald Trump be held in a broom closet for one year to learn some empathy for what Mr. McCain went through.

Following scathing criticism for having said “all lives matter” to Black Lives Matter activists, Martin O’Malley has clarified his position about whose lives actually matter.

ATLANTA (The Barbed Wire) - It's only been a couple of days since the SyFy channel aired the latest installment in the Sharknado franchise, but already plot details about the next incarnation of the show are emerging online. The highlight of the latest episode was getting to see disgraced politician Anthony Weiner.

SYRIA (The Barbed Wire) - Once the poster boy for the evil of ISIS, the man credited with killing numerous hostages held by the terror group is reportedly now on the run from the very group that made him a star. According to the Jerusalem Post, John is in hiding, probably within a different JV terror group.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Controversy has erupted in male circles coast to coast after Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly threw a "war on women" statement and question at Republican front-runner Donald Trump early in Thursday night's debate. Was Trump immature in his response? Sure he was.

LAS VEGAS (The Barbed Wire) - After a town hall meeting here this week, reporters again tried to get Hillary Clinton to come clean over her continuously unraveling email scandal. Revelations keep mounting that the former first lady broke the law and tried to deceive the public about her dealings as Secretary of State.

VIRGINIA (The Barbed Wire) - Trying to quell any attempt by Donald Trump to potentially launch a third-party run for the White House in 2016, state legislators in several states are debating whether to pass requirements that candidates sign or agree to "loyalty oaths," stating they would support whoever the Republican nominee is.