(Reprinted from the Mayberry Gazette) Mayberry, North Carolina – (SatireWorld.com)
It was revealed today that Opie Taylor, raised as the son of former Mayberry Sheriff, is actually the love child of former deputy Barney Fife and Andy’s late wife. Aunt Bee, Andy’s aunt, revealed the information on her death bed, saying “I can’t go to my sweet Jesus with this lie untold. Folks just gotta know and I’ve been itching nigh on fifty years to tell this to somebody.