FLINT, MICHIGAN (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Governor of Michigan Rick Snyder (R) declared he was surprised the citizens of Flint had not arranged a parade to honor his quick response to them being poisoned by largely untreated water from a polluted source his hand-selected emergency manager had chosen. Snyder touted his rapid, nearly-two-years-in-the-making response to Flint citizens complaining about their toxic drinking water almost immediately after the city was forced by austerity measures to switch its public water source to the Flint River in April of 2014.