Britney Spears is thirty-five today. We celebrate this occasion by recalling some of the more what-the-fuck-moments from her career. At 22, Britney married her childhood pal Jason Alexander in Las Vegas, Nevada, after a night of twinkie abuse and huffing glue. This ill-considered marriage, which was annulled or something like that in fifty-five hours, was the first in an epic series of oops-I-shit-the-bed-again moments Ms. Spears provided a gobsmacked nation for more than a year. The Pug Bus, which was then still a pup and apt to shit the bed itself, followed Britney's every swerve.
Happy Birthday Britney, You Bitch
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