Bowed by public pressure and surrounded by bodyguards a Mr. Gary Stevens, of West Norwood, has revealed that he is to blame for Adele’s plaintive wailing and multi-million pound angst. His ill-fated romance with the singer in 2005 forced him to him to become a fugitive, concealing from friends and family that he was the muse behind such Adele classics as ‘Someone Like You’, ‘I hope your kn@b rots off’ and the melodic ‘Die, you cheating bastard, die’.