Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Trying to avoid accusations from the past, Gary the gerbil, age 42, is trying to set straight the allegations that he’s had to live with for the past thirty-five years.

Born a coal miner’s only son, Gary’s life was on the slow track to nowhere until he was purchased at a Hershey Pennsylvania pet store by an up and coming actor named Richard Gere. Gere later went on to Hollywood star status after a string of popular movies and a marriage to super model Cindy Crawford.