WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and fired Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina announced her desire to have the USS Ronald Reagan - a Nimitz-class supercarrier - as "a golden parachute" when Congress impeached her for gross incompetence as president. Fiorina also continued to hit back at her critics by claiming she could not be considered a failed CEO at HP due to the fact she walked away with about $21 million if she promised never to return.