Polls Show Trump Losing to Gonorrhea, Fruit Bat

Corroborating the recently expressed beliefs of many within his own party that he can't win a general election, several new polls have Donald Trump losing against an array of candidates, creatures and inanimate objects.

In one poll conducted by Rasmussen last week, Trump lost a hypothetical rematch with current President Joe Biden 47%-36%; while in another, also administered by Rasmussen, he was defeated 48%-36% by the deranged actor Gary Busey.

"Gary Busey is crazy, but in a less dangerous way than Trump," one respondent remarked. "Also, I feel he (Busey) has a stronger grasp on the issues."

In still other polls, Trump was defeated 49%-36%, 48%-36% and 49%-36% by a fruit bat, Gonorrhea and a moldy biscuit, respectively.

"Gonorrhea is annoying, but at least you can make it go away. It's not like it's going to turn your democracy into a kleptocracy run by incompetent shit-tards," one woman commented.

Not surprisingly, yet another poll saw Trump trailing a Philodendron 62%-36%.

"Oh, I love Philodendrons. They really brighten up a room," one respondent said.