Report: Current Trump Third Clone of Long-Dead Original POTUS

A disturbing new report citing internal White House correspondence reveals that the President Trump currently occupying the Oval Office is the third in a series of clones made of the President before he died in 2017.

Describing a conspiracy to perpetuate the Trump administration even after his death from a myocardial infarction nearly three years ago, then the deaths of two other clones from heart attacks since, the news helps to explain several questions surrounding the 45th President's life and tenure in office.

"First, how a man so fat can live so long," Historian and Political Journalist Evelyn Myers posed. "Second, it illuminates the cause of Trump's precipitous intellectual decline these past couple of years. Why he might suggest people drink bleach to treat Coronavirus, for instance. Or why he can't pronounce 'Yosemite' or 'Thailand' or doesn't know when World War II was fought," she said.

"Or how he can not know that Britain has the Bomb or that Finland isn't part of Russia, or where Alabama is on the map," Myers went on. "Or how he can blame forest fires on unraked forests and claim that noise from windmills causes cancer. Or why he can't speak in complete sentences."

Meanwhile, Trump has since taken to Twitter to denounce the report.

"Report bad. Lazy Jim plant," the President posted.

"Me like ham," Trump later tweeted.