Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Foul Ball Crisis: Are Hispanic Players Targeting White Fans?

Another baseball fan was injured by a ball batted into the stands yesterday, causing some to call 'foul!' on the Hispanic players they suspect might be intentionally targeting white spectators.

"It might sound crazy, but if you read the baseball rule book closely, you'll see that once a batter has two strikes against him that he can actually hit as many foul balls as he wants without penalty, giving a green light to a Latino player with a political vendetta to take a shot at someone he suspects might have voted for President Trump, for instance," Thomas Skrabeck of Downers Grove, Illinois said.

Dismissing the fact that the latest foul ball-related injury came off the bat of Cody Bellinger, a Caucasian player, Skrabeck lobbied for some punitive measures to be taken.

"It wasn't a Hispanic this time, but it could have been," he argued. "These people are taking half our professional baseball playing jobs and we're supposed to just sit back while they launch line drives at our faces?"

Furthermore, according to Skrabeck, short of boycotting baseball, there's not much the average fan can do to protect themselves from the onslaught.

"Unfortunately it's impossible to focus on a baseball game for more than thirty seconds at a time," he said. "Especially now in the smartphone era. It's literally not possible. And that's when they'll get you."

 
Read More

    Falling Suicide Rates Leave Researchers Baffled

    Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump