Home | World | National | Opinion | Local | Entertainment | Home And Garden | Advice | Farts And Giggles | |||||||||
Links | Advertise | Contact | |||||||||||||||
Lame Time Traveler Arrives to Warn Nation Against Electing Trump POTUS Disheveled and rambling, a lame time traveler arrived nearly two years late today to warn the nation about the consequences of electing Donald Trump President. "Don't do it. The guy's a crook! He'll throw the entire country into turmoil!" the man, appearing out of thin air outside Disney World this morning waved a copy of tomorrow's New York Times as proof of his dire claims. "Donald Trump is an incompetent buffoon!" he cried. "And a racist! You have to believe me!" Flipping frantically through the newspaper's contents, the man reportedly proceeded to demonstrate to a group of bored tourists how the president's conduct would lead to unprecedented dysfunction in government and volatility on Wall Street. "Donald Trump is a complete egomaniac! His hubris will alienate our allies and sink the stock market!" the man admonished. The time traveler, who neglected even to bring along the sports section of his newspaper so that people could at least place some wagers on today's games, apologized when he discovered that it was only yesterday, citing the infancy of time travel technology. "Sorry," he said. "My bad." |
|||||||||||||||||
Read More | |||||||||||||||||
Man Discovers He's 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com | |||||||||||||||||
Trump Tweets Top Ten Most Boring Presidents | |||||||||||||||||