Police Blame Victim for Not Changing Color Prior to Being Shot

A black man who was shot by police at a mall should have camouflaged himself by changing skin color, say authorities.

HOOVER, Ala. (TheSkunk.org) — A black man who was shot and killed by police at a mall outside Birmingham should have changed the color of his skin before the officer pulled the trigger, according to a statement issued by the Hoover Police Department.

Police arrived on the scene after receiving a report of an active shooter and immediately fired their weapons at an individual they described as a “black man suspiciously existing in the mall.”

“Many life forms change their skin color frequently, in order to blend into their environment and avoid danger,” said a police department spokesperson. “While we are very sorry for the death of this young man, had he used his God-given power of metachrosis to change to a lovely shade of teal, or perhaps even light blue, he would have blended in with the mall’s interior colors and would most likely still be alive today.”

Braddon Mendelson