Is Having a Few Hookers Killed Really a Crime?
By: Rudy Giuliani

The modern world is such a topsy-turvy place these days. Everyone is going a hundred miles an hour, doing five things at a time, would it be any big surprise to any of us if we found out that at some point over the course of our hectic lives that we killed a few prostitutes? That in the midst of all those work meetings and family gatherings, press junkets and business trips that we bumped off a hooker or two?

Personally, as I sit here reflecting on it, I think not.

Really, is being responsible for the deaths of a small handful of prostitutes even a crime? Say you didn't even personally arrange for said ladies of the night to show up in your hotel room and that you weren't even the one who strangled them afterwards? Is that an indictable offense? Certainly not if it took place in a foreign country that isn't willing to extradite you.

And that's even assuming the hookers bodies are ever found! Who's to say you ever even had them killed? Who can remember? Prostitutes disappear all the time. They retire and get waitressing jobs or go back to school. And good for them.

Boat theft. Now that's a crime. Boat thieves should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Also anyone connected to any kind of sex slave type of operation. And arsonists. All those things are despicable.

Actually, on second thought, let's strike that sex slave thing.