North Korea
Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling
Alarming new intelligence
has linked North Korea to the upsurge in UK
cycling.
‘The UK government has
long been concerned by the ever increasing use of
bicycles on British roads,’ Chris Grayling,
Secretary of State for Transport, told a House of
Commons select committee today. ‘The harm
caused by cycling is well understood, but, in
common with excessive alcohol consumption,
smoking, gambling and use of unprescribed drugs,
it has been extremely difficult to control. The
reasons for the cycling epidemic have also not
been well understood until very recently.’
‘Cycling has become a
particular problem for the NHS,’ Jeremy Hunt,
Secretary of State for Health and Social Care,
informed the Health Committee. ‘Conservative
estimates indicate that the medical consequences
of cycling cost the NHS over a billion pounds in
2017 – and this figure has been increasing
year upon year. The sum exceeds the net cost to
the NHS of alcohol, smoking and gambling
addictions, combined, because these pursuits,
although exacting a heavy toll on the nation’s
physical and mental health, generate high and
ongoing tax revenue.
‘Research has shown
there to be three primary mechanisms by which
cycling impacts on health,’ Mr Hunt told the
committee. ‘The first follows from the fact
that cycling vastly increases air pollution due
to lengthening the journey times of legitimate
road users. This has been shown to have
significant physical health implications for
everyone, including, of course, cyclists
themselves.
‘The second impact on
public health derives from stress experienced by
other road users. This effect is partly caused by
the unnecessary delays, but also results from a
near constant state of driver anxiety caused by
fear of colliding with virtually invisible,
meandering cyclists. This psychological trauma
imposes a direct cost on NHS mental health
services, but also has an indirect impact on the
wider NHS due to stress exacerbating physical
conditions.
‘The third significant
effect on the NHS, of course,’ concluded the
Heath Secretary, ‘results from the very many
accidents directly caused by cyclists.’
‘In addition to the
impact on the NHS,’ the Transport Secretary
told the committee, ‘the slowing of traffic
caused by cyclists reduces road capacity. New
research indicates that several controversial
road schemes, some of which have had an
undeniably negative environmental impact, would
have been wholly unnecessary had cycling been
banned on existing routes during rush hours.
There is a tragic irony,’ Mr Grayling added,
‘in that many of the anti-road objectors
cycled to protests or public hearings in a manner
they believed to be consistent with their green
convictions. In doing so, they were inadvertently
contributing to data that supported the need for
the related road project.’
The House of Commons Heath
Select Committee heard that the overall cost of
cycling to the UK economy in terms of lost
production, though difficult to fully assess, was
of the order of several billions of pounds each
year. It had thus, until very recently, remained
perplexing as to why so many normally responsible
citizens had chosen to behave in such a reckless
and anti-social manner. Research had consistently
shown that few, if any, of the cycling community
had any intent to do harm and, indeed, the
overwhelming majority believed they were having
quite the opposite effect.
‘We now know with
certainty,’ revealed Dean Haydon, Head of UK
Counter Terrorism Command, ‘that promotion
of cycling in the UK has been covertly driven by
North Korea as one of its strategies to
destabilise Western democracies.
‘Overt terrorist acts
in the West,’ Mr Haydon explained to the
committee, ‘have tended to bring communities
together in a spirit of love and forgiveness,
rather than having a destabilising effect on
society. Pyongyang recognised this at an early
stage, and directed its efforts towards covert
attacks on critical infrastructure – such as
the NHS. The promotion of cycling in the UK has
been the central focus of North Korean terrorist
activity in the UK since 2010.
‘The intelligence
community suspected this some time ago,’ Mr
Haydon admitted. ‘Unfortunately it was
assumed by the government that the North Koreans
were perpetrating cyber-terrorism due to
a typographical error in a 2012 MI6 report that
should have alerted them to cycle-terrorism.’
The head of the UK Counter
Terrorism Command went on to explain that a
recent high ranking, North Korean defector has
conclusively confirmed the North Korean plot.
‘Significant funds in support of UK cycling
have now been traced to North Korea,’ he
confirmed. ‘In addition, the training of
more than one Olympic cycling champion has been
wholly funded by an organisation that we now know
to be a front for the Reconnaissance General
Bureau.’
It was explained to the
committee that the Reconnaissance General Bureau,
or RGB, was the North Korean intelligence agency
that managed the state's clandestine operations.
The committee heard how,
since the threat had been positively identified,
measures had been put in place to halt further
North Korean sponsorship of UK cycling. The UK
Border Force had, for example, achieved a number
of high profile successes in intercepting
shipments of North Korean bicycles destined to be
sold cheaply on Britain’s streets.
Despite these victories,
however, the Health Secretary highlighted the
plight of the very many cycling addicts who
remained on Britain’s roads. He estimated
that as many as five million people might require
professional help to control the pathological
cravings that put their own lives and those of
others at such serious risk.
‘Many cyclists deny
there is a problem, and are even angry about
government interference,’ Mr Hunt explained.
‘This has sadly been evidenced by huge
outcries from the cycling community whenever the
Highways Agency has been forced to ban cycling on
specific roads for totally obvious safety reasons.
It is, however, understandable,' he conceded, 'that
many intelligent people may be reluctant and
embarrassed to face the reality that they have
been duped by a foreign power.'
‘Reversing the current
cycling epidemic is going to be difficult,’
agreed the Transport Secretary, ‘because a
democratic society cannot simply ban an activity
such as cycling. In common with other extremely
harmful pursuits – such as excessive smoking,
drinking, gambling, use of unprescribed drugs or
unsafe sex – it is necessary to adopt an
approach of public awareness and education.
‘The government is
addressing the problem on a number of fronts,’
Mr Grayling continued. ‘A “Stop Cycling
Now” campaign has been launched which
includes a 24/7 helpline. Support groups are been
formed to encourage cyclists to confront their
addiction and develop more positive and
worthwhile lifestyles. Funds have also been made
available for the construction of many more
velodromes so that those who are most badly
affected can ride in a safe, off road environment
under the supervision of trained professionals.’
‘The NHS is employing
a damage limitation model for addressing the
cycling crisis,’ concluded the Health
Secretary. ‘Experience with other types of
rehabilitation services indicates that we are
unlikely to totally eradicate cycling, but we
hope that the situation can be managed in order
to limit, as far as possible, the most
devastating effects on individuals and society as
a whole.’
If you
have been affected by anything in this article,
please visit the NHS Stop
Cycling Now website.
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