White House Report: New Tax Plan Would Increase Jobs 5000%

The Senate GOP tax plan would increase jobs 5000% according to an estimate made by the White House Budget Office today.

Diverging somewhat from the non-partisian Congressional Budget Office's analysis of the bill, which projected it would balloon the nation's deficit by $1.4 trillion within the first 10 years of its implementation while having an unknown effect on job growth, the WHBO's assessment was considerably more favorable of the legislation.

"This plan will make 5000% more jobs. That's alot (sic) of jobs. Lots of fantastic, wonderful jobs..." the report, handwritten on a Post-it note, read before continuing on the other side: "...Yay!"

President Trump's chief economic advisor Gary Cohn elaborated on what one of these new jobs, at an estimated $30,000 per year, could afford an average American family of four.

"We're talking life changing employment here," he remarked. "Jobs like these would not only allow middle class folks to purchase a home, but a vacation home. Probably in The Hamptons. It would keep Billy in his brand name Bugle Boy jeans and buy little Mable all the caviar she can eat."

Cohn went on dismiss projections that show that the plan would shoulder America's poorest with as much as a $1,000 additional tax burden by 2027.

"That's negligible," he said. "What is that, a few boxes of macaroni and cheese?"