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Jared Kushner Gives Four-Slide Powerpoint Summary of Progress on Mid-East Peace, Opioids, Justice Reform, China, Mexico Jared Kushner appeared before a special joint committee meeting in Congress today to present a summary of his activities since being appointed White House Senior Advisor. Reportedly nearly seven minutes long and utilizing various graphs and charts generated on Microsoft Excel, the son-in-law to the President's four-slide PowerPoint presentation quantifying his progress on such assignments as brokering peace in the Middle East, solving the nation's opioid epidemic, reforming the criminal justice system and serving as a liaison to the Middle East, China and Mexico was later released to the press. On the first slide of the comprehensive report, a bar graph illustrates that the Middle East is 84% more peaceful since President Obama left office, a remarkable improvement, while a pie chart on slide 2 shows that 54% of Americans have stopped taking opioids during that same time. "I think it's really good," Kushner remarked. Also promising, a compilation of three undivided pie charts on the presentation's final slide indicate that Kushner has completely liaised with all of the Middle East, China and Mexico. "We're at 100% in the liasis department," Kushner proudly declared. Impressed by the report, President Trump praised Kushner's progress. "Jared's doing terrific work," Trump said. "Absolutley terrific." |
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