Frederick Douglass Confronts White Protestors, Demands Trump End Slavery

Calling the display, "Odious and incomprehensible," prominent African American activist Frederick Douglass appeared in person to confront a group of White Nationalists protesting at his statue in Baltimore today.

"I stand before you a man no less or more from birth, but as a gentleman. A gentleman who is deaf to those who are not gentlemen who shall wish to insult me, and hence deaf to your words," Douglass rebuffed the crowd.

An outspoken opponent of slavery, Douglass also took the opportunity to appeal directly to President Trump over the Supreme Court's decision on the Dred Scott case, calling for the initiation of a Constitutional Amendment, "To end this abhorrent institution once and for all," - a demand the President smoothly deflected.

"This is a complicated issue. Very, very complicated," Trump remarked. "There are lots of good people on both sides, and it's very complicated."

Trump later proposed via Twitter a "Missouri Compromise", which would ban slavery north of the 36th parallel of latitude east of Kentucky, but where Missouri would be a slave state - a deal Douglass flatly rejected.

"There shall be no compromise regarding this heinous practice, the perpetuity of which is an affront to God," Douglass reproached, drawing the President's ire.

"With all due respect to Mr. Douglass, who I still think has done an amazing job, but maybe not so much lately, I think he's a total jackass," Trump said.