Endangered Gerbil Saved in Sudan

DARFUR—A rare Gerbillus Burtoni, or Burton’s Gerbil, destined to become some predator or insect’s meal, was rescued yesterday in the western part of one of Africa’s most chaotic countries.

As rain clouds and troops rolled in over the sprawling savanna toward a civilian village, one of nature’s most adorable creatures was saved from imminent danger and destruction.

Faithful Iron E-News reporter, Bev Jolt, traveled to the war-torn area to discover what really happened.

“There I was, crouched behind a large baobab tree,” reported a courageous UN peacekeeper, “when I spotted something scurrying on the ground about ten meters from my position.  I recognized the little guy immediately and, remembering he was endangered, knew I had to do something fast.  I leapt out from behind my shelter, flailed my arms wildly in the air while making a loud whooping cry to distract the soldiers, dove on the ground and snatched the gerbil right out from underneath a military boot just before it was quashed to death.”

“Strangely though, the soldiers just stared at me, kind of chuckled, and then moved on toward the village.”

After its vital signs were thoroughly checked, our little rodent hero was medevaced to the nearest hospital and admitted for minor injuries and emotional trauma.

Iron E-News is now happy to report that President Omar al-Bashir and the Sudanese Army have promised the UN that no endangered species will be harmed during the committing of genocide.

30 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Discover more from Iron E-News

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading