“It’s bloody outrageous! If our daughter had been molested by the likes of Jimmy Savile, it would have been across all the tabloids and the six o’clock news,” declares fifty two year old Ned Ruggler, speaking on the steps of Romsey Crown Court, where forty four year old Les Froote had just been convicted of sexual assault. “But because she was felt up by some sad bastard of a neighbour, it barely makes the inside pages of the local newspaper! If it had been a TV presenter or a footballer, the bastards would have been all over our story like a rash, but because she was only assaulted by an unemployed gas fitter, my daughter apparently isn’t newsworthy!” Ruggler is one of a growing number of victims and their families of non-celebrity sexual offenders angry at what they see as prejudicial treatment by the media. “Thanks to these celebrity nonces, it’s become all about the perpetrator, rather than the victims,” complains Ruggler. “The media are just interested in the glamour – they send their showbiz reporters rather than their crime reporters to cover celebrity kiddie fiddlers. If some poor kid gets buggered by his Uncle Ted, it’s a different story – if it doesn’t involve bummings on the back seat of a Rolls Royce, it won’t sell papers!”

Whilst Ruggler is angry that the media is effectively trivialising the suffering of the victims of sex crimes by only focusing on those committed by celebrities, others fear that the victims’ self worth is being eroded by the obsession with the level of fame of their attackers. “Listen, Ned Ruggler and his daughter should be thankful that she at least had her tits squeezed by someone with a trade! Being a gas fitter, unemployed or not, Les Froote was at least a professional!” an angry Bob Corkfun told The Sleaze. “I know that’s not the same as being a celebrity, but it is better than having your testicles grabbed by some horrible wheezing old drunk with nicotaine stained fingers, which is what happened to my boy. As if being sexually assaulted wasn’t bad enough, the fact that it was done by some old scroat, a total nobody, has left him even more humiliated. You should see the way people look at him – with a mixture of pity and contempt! Believe me, if he’d been groped by Rolf Harris or Stuart Hall, he’d be some kind of celebrity himself – people would be pointing at him in the street, saying ‘Wow, he’s the boy who had his balls cupped by someone off the telly!’”

Barnsley resident Corkfun is convinced that the victims of non-celebrity sex offenders are effectively being treated as second class victims and suspects that it might be a question of social class. “The fact is that most of these celebrity sex offender victims who have come forward have been middle class,” he claims. “It stands to reason they would be, after all, their sort would always find it easier to get access to those social circles in the first place. Us working class people, though, can’t hope to get access to to the world of celebrities, so we have to settle for being abused by familiy members, down and outs and local nonces – as far as the press is concerned, working class kids only get sexually abused by celebrities if they’ve been working as prostitutes or rent boys. It’s enough to give working class victims a complex, leave them feeling that they just aren’t good enough to be abused by someone rich and famous!” Corkfun is demanding to know what the government is proposing to do rectify this situation. “It’s quite obvious to me that there simply aren’t enough celebrity perverts to go around – especially now that they’ve locked so many of them up,” he declares. “Not only do they need to start grooming a whole new generation of celebrity nonces, but they clearly have to impose some kind of quota on them, to guarantee that their victims include a fair proportion of lower class kids. Our kids have as much right to be abused by wealthy perverts who can afford to buy their parents off as anyone else. Why should they be forced to make do with broken down toothless old gimps without a penny to their name?”

Critics of Corkfun and his associates have latched on to his reference to the wealth of celebrity sex offenders, contending that profit is the real motivation for his campaign for greater access to them for working class children. “In truth, this has nothing to do with boosting the self-esteem of deprived children by ensuring they are bum raped by someone glamourous like Gary Glitter or Michael Jackson, but rather it is about trying profit from sex crimes,” opines Professor Bob Mincer, Head of Smut Studies at Thames Valley Institute of Basket Weaving. “He said it himself – it’s all about getting a back hander from the celebrity sex offender to keep quiet about their deprivations. Frankly, it makes them no better than the nonces – they effectively pimping out their kids for profit.”

Corkfun doesn’t deny that there are financial considerations behind his campaign, but denies that it has anything to do with blackmail. “It’s about getting proper compensation for victims of sexual offences,” he says. “If a kid is abused by some regular local nonce, then the press just aren’t interested – a couple of column inches in a regional paper and mention on the local TV news if you are lucky. But if the offender is famous, then you can sell the story to the media for big bucks! At least you can get some monetary compensation through an exclusive deal with The Daily Norks!” Right now, however, working class kids are being denied such opportunities by their lack of access to famous sex offenders. “We need more celebrity nonces and we need them now,” he contends. “The money we could make from their potential victims selling their stories to the papers could rejuvenate many deprived communities. Besides, if you think about it, by making child sex offences the primary preserve of celebrities, we are actually increasing child safety, as, if they a child is unfortunate enough to become a victim, they are less likely to be murdered by a celebrity than by a regular sex criminal.”