Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Trump Calls for Resumption of US Civil War

Two days after lamenting the tragic nature of the American Civil War in an interview with the Washington Examiner, President Trump is now calling for a resumption of hostilities between the North and South since having been tutored further on the subject.

"It was actually a lot more complicated than I thought - than anyone thought, I can tell you," the president remarked. "The war wasn't just about slavery, but lots of other things, like the economies of both sides being totally different and how folks were being represented in Congress and things of that nature."

"There is also an issue with a man named Dred Scott, who has done a fantastic job, just fantastic, and who has been treated very unfairly in my opinion," the president went on. "Which is why I think we need to finish this war - to finally resolve these things that have divided our great nation, and especially slavery, which, despite there being other things, is probably still the most important thing, and which I'm not taking a side on one way or the other."

Trump, later addressing concerns over the casualties that would result from a resumption of the Civil War, set some ground rules for the conflict.

"No modern weapons," he said emphatically. "No guns or missiles or any of that. We start where we left off with bows and arrows and catapults like they used in the 18th century."

 
Read More

    Frustrated Consumer Has Seen All The Porns

    Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel