Trump Creates New Day of Hatred to Counter Valentine's

Calling love "dumb", President Trump signed a new executive order today establishing a national day of hatred to counter Valentine's Day.

Titled, "The Establishment of a National Day of Hatred," the order creates a day that should be used to vent wrath and promote antipathy around the world, the President says.

"Let's face it, love is dumb," Trump remarked. "Good is disaster. Good bad. Bad good."

In the afternoon, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer passed on some ideas for commemorating the new holiday during his daily briefing.

"Walk up to a minority on the street and tell them to get out of your country," he suggested. "Send a card to someone in Iran saying you hope they die," he said. "Its the thought that counts. Tell a friend who shared a memory on Facebook to shove it."

"Hate warms the heart, and unlike love, it can never be taken away. For example, I hate all of you," Spicer went on, addressing the press corps. "There's nothing I'd like more than to punch you all right in the face, and that makes me feel good."

Set for February 15th, the holiday will not give anyone the day off because, "Fuck you," the president said.