Britain in a Bit of a Snit

Britain appears to be going through something of a phase, those around her say.

"She's in a bit of a snit," her Queen Mother said of the 480 year-old constitutional monarchy, which has been locked in her room since last Thursday.

"Shut up! I am not!" the troubled sovereign state, overhearing, shrieked through the door. "Leave me alone!"

"See?" the Queen rolled her eyes.

According to her friends on Facebook, Britain has also begun to drastically change her appearance for the worse since sequestering herself, including cutting her hair and piercing her lip.

"She used to have the most gorgeous blond hair, I used to be so jealous," Britain's BFF France remarked online. "But from the latest pictures, she's hacked it all off, dyed it puke green and shoved a couple of those dumb lobe disc things into her ears. She looks stupid."

Britain was quick with an angry retort. "Fuck you France," she wrote on Twitter. "Why don't you go get in another war with Germany and get fucked in the arse?!"

As of press time, the Queen Mother says Britain hasn't yet come down for a tasty goulash she had prepared for dinner.