Paternity Testing Reveals Trump the Father of Ted Cruz's Children

The nastiest and most confrontational Republican debate so far devolved further Thursday night when moderator Wolf Blitzer revealed that Donald Trump is the father of Ted Cruz's two daughters.

The dramatic moment arrived fifty-two minutes into the debate when Blitzer produced an envelope containing results of recently performed paternity tests.

"Not surprising," Trump, his chin raised and bottom lip protruding, noted. "I boffed that bimbo wife of his about a dozen times."

Added Trump: "What's her name - Heidi, Holly, whatever - is nothing but a white trash nympho wanna-be gold digger who'll screw just about anything from Bubbles the Chimp to possibly even Ted Cruz. Shame on her."

Cruz then stormed across the stage and attacked Trump, throwing several flailing punches at the billionaire mogul before being restrained by debate security personnel.

"You son of a bitch!" Cruz, wiping tears from his face, wailed as the audience chanted Trump's name.

Blitzer later revealed that Ben Carson's mulatto son was also sired by Trump, at which point Carson smiled and walked off the stage.