Headlines - 11/21/2008

Dailyfortnight

Bin Laden Appears in New Handycam Commercial

Bearded evil mastermind Osama Bin Laden has appeared in an advert for Sony’s new Handycam...

CAP News

Congress Considers Teenager Bailout Plan

The biggest hurdle facing each bill is a rider stipulating that the teens must perform chores in order to receive their share of the bailout.

NewsBiscuit

Rare American chimp ‘close to extinction’

'It's almost extinctivized'

Underneath Politics

GOP Shrink Ridicules Patients for Not Seeing Patriotic Images in Inkblots

A Republican psychiatrist believes it says a lot about American values that not one of his patients has claimed to see a patriotic image while taking the famous Rorschach Inkblot Test.

The Giant Napkin

Financial Bailout Worked Already

The White House and Department of the Treasury announced jointly today that the financial bailout plan meant to rejuvenate the nation’s economy through $700 billion in lending to financial institution has worked, and Americans may now go about their lives without fear of a total financial meltdown.

Perplexing Times

Sickness Hits Head Like Hammer of Snot

If ever I had reason to complain about something, this would probably be it. I mean, I would complain about it, if only I could, but I just can’t.

Sports Pickle

Nike Releases New Shoe-Buying Shoe

Nike announced today the release of a new shoe the company hopes will revolutionize the footwear industry and also exponentially increase the sale of Nike shoes. “We had shoes for every kind of terrain the Nike consumer could want,” said Phil Knight, Nike chairman and co-founder. “The basketball court, the baseball, football and soccer field, the ice rink, turf, hiking, cross-training, running on a track, running cross country, golf, wrestling – you name it. But then we realized we offered nothing to help people navigate the terrain of the modern American shopping mall.”

Glossy News

Palin to Drop Out, Huckabee Will Replace Her, So Help Him God

With Obama crushing McCain dead in the polls, and the all the pop of radical campaign attempts having fizzled, it’s time for a game-changer, and short of ordering a domestic attack under the guise of foreign terrorism, there ain’t a whole lot of cards to throw down.

The World's Voice of Reason

John Sergeant Quits Strictly Come Dancing, The UK's Media Goes Apoplectic

The dreams of millions of portly non-dancers were shattered today as John Sergeant, attacked on all sides for dancing like Mr Miss Piggy, quits. He will be sadly missed.

DERF Magazine

Bush offers to stick around during transition if necessary

...public transcripts of the meeting between Bush and Obama indicate Bush also handed Obama a things-to-do list written on a Post-It Note and said, "Here's the list I've been working on for a while. That's Dick Cheney's hand-writing so call him if you have trouble reading those big words."

BBspot

USA Plans on Selling States to Remain Solvent

Washington D.C. - Americans face a tough choice this election day as one of the states must be put on the auction block to help secure the future of the country.

The Satirical Political Report

Obama Makes His GOP Cabinet Choice: Barney the Dog

Where else can you turn for loyalty from the opposition?

New Zealand's missing sense of humor

It seems incredible, but New Zealand has actually voted to ban media outlets from using images of Parliament for satirical purposes.

The Dangerous Imagination of Jamie Malanowski

An exclusive interview with Playboy editor Jamie Malanowski, author of the recent satirical novel The Coup.

Check Please! is the HumorFeed news publication.

Soup for 10/10/07

10/10/07 It was only a matter of time until Stephen Colbert wrote a book. And it promises to be just as good as the show (take that as you will, depending on your opinion of the show). The good folks at NPR have graciously reprinted - with permission, we assume - the introduction to Colbert's book. Click, visit, see how a master craftsman takes pen to paper. It is worth it, if only for the baby carrots.

Check out all the previous Soup of the Day links on our Soup Archive page!

Let's put lots of text in this box.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec molestie. Sed aliquam sem ut arcu. Phasellus sollicitudin. Vestibulum condimentum facilisis nulla. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Nulla nonummy. Cras quis libero. Cras venenatis. Aliquam posuere lobortis pede. Nullam fringilla urna id leo.

Minimal amount of content here to test things out.

Throw your best party yet with MyPunchbowl.com

Massager Machines & More

Massage Chair

SEO & SEM (in Japanese)