Check Please!
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.
Tweet Tower—Two turkeys, Ozzy & Harriet, are desperately awaiting word of the president’s overdue pardon. The National Pardoning Ceremony is a time honored tradition, but, thus far in his presidency, Donald Trump has ignored most customs and traditions. The turkeys are demanding the president keep his word and pardon the two before they become the guests of honor…
Much to the surprise of shoppers, the UK has reduced its worth by 70% – to the price of a discount Belgium or a top-end electric toothbrush. This Friday, trade deals will be available for a fraction of their original cost, with consumers expected to rush out to buy a 55-inch Smart TV or a...
Before planning your trip to Africa, consider the advice of someone who has been there many times and is totally not making stuff up based on movies.
Dateline: ATLANTA—A new anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate media to properly report on President Trump is to simultaneously hit themselves repeatedly in the face. Mr. […]
Satan claims that Manson sexually assaulted him as the two were posing for a selfie soon after Manson’s arrival. “That’s pretty brazen,” Satan remarked, “Even for Charlie. He and I go way back but, when I felt him squeeze my ass while we were trying to get the picture, I was like, dude, come on.”
The White House – (SatireWorld.com)
With 15% of the American people on food stamps and unemployment increasing as thousands of business lay off workers due to healthcare cost fears, President Obama took some time off from golf to pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving.
Seattle,WA – (SatireWorld.com)
The Seattle city government has frowned upon city employees using the words “brown bag” and “citizen.” Instead of “brown bag” lunch, sack lunch should be used and instead of “citizen,” resident should be used.
Exhaustive research by the professionals at the Canard Press newsroom has come up with the following seven no-fail tips to help you get through the day.
With the fourth Thursday of November upon us, millions of American households will sit down to observe their final Thanksgiving together this week.

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