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Tweet Tower—President Donald Trump is blaming his military Generals, not his related tweets, on the latest confusion that resulted in tons of hurricane relief supplies arriving in N. Korea and an armada of U.S. Navy warships being dispatched to Puerto Rico. Kim Jong Un was reportedly “as surprised as anyone” that four supply freighters filled with food, water…
After decades of investigation and cottaging, police have revealed the identity of the man behind the most notorious of crimes – second only to James Corden’s agent. Ahmet Hill, of Croydon, stands accused of a flagrant disregard for toilet hygiene, causing untold blockages and being ‘a terrible advert’ for Wrigley.
by Roz Warren.Is there a right place and a wrong place to do things like Tai Chi, Yoga and Snake Poses? When I was in high school, I had a good friend whose boyfriend did Tai Chi. ... Read moreSnake Poses on a PlaneSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Despite the ongoing collapse of conservative ‘thought’, each news cycle still brings a barrage of new and intriguing rightwing dimsights. At least Puerto Rico has a storm to blame for knocking it back 30 years, what’s the republican party’s excuse? Today, as the Antarctic Pine Glacier retreats another 100 miles, the GOP’s brain capacity retreats another 100K neurons. Meanwhile, our…
So difficult to get things done with the Senate always getting in the way, but these filibusters, they make it hard. We need filibuster reform, even if it is such a fun word to say.
There's nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a tiny, dingy $800-a-month basement apartment to remind you that your dreams are a sham.
Dateline: ATLANTA—A new anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate media to properly report on President Trump is to simultaneously hit themselves repeatedly in the face. Mr. […]
I'm glad to know it's WOMEN who are responsible for the sexual harassment reform movement, and not the flagging appeal of my aging ass.
With infallible regularity, each and every news cycle the rightwing alchemists transmute the obscene and the aberrant into mainstream gold. We may well be on the verge of another Nixon-style Saturday Night Massacre Saturday, but instead of the resignation speech to follow we’ll probably see a pre-Iraq-invasion like ‘next logical step.’ Fox News Alert: Most…
Sometimes, in a cynical and jaded age (so what else is new?) we turn away in disgust at simplicity, vulnerability, gentleness, sweetness, innocence. We laugh and we ridicule and we condemn. We are fearful, so we make others afraid too. WATCH OUT FOR MY INSPIRATIONAL, PROVOCATIVE AND ENCOURAGE ‘JOY MACHINE’ BOOK IN 2018! #WeAreGreaterThanWeKnow #JoyMachineSometimes, […]The post An Age of Cynicism? Or is this Every Age? appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
A man stood brazenly in the middle of 5th Venue yesterday and shot someone dead. And got away with it. To most eyes it was just another homicide in a city inured to violence. However, it had a few different twists than your usual murder. First of all: the suspect, an older man with an […]The post Strange Man Shoots Innocent Bystander In The Middle Of 5th Avenue In New York And Gets Away With It. appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Only one year into this cocky horror picture show and our republican friends are already circling the old wagons. Much uncertainty clouds the onset of year two of the Greatest Administration on Earth, so it’s time for some more prognostic magic. As for the Russia-probe, the surprising effectiveness of the Hannity-led attacks on the FBI and Mueller’s team is muddying the waters. No matter…
Atlanta, GA—The King Center has rented apparatus to have the Atlanta tomb of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife Coretta Scott King rotated for the entire MLK weekend. The center’s board of directors finalized the decision yesterday after President Trump referred to Haiti and African countries as ‘shitholes’. CEO of the center and MLK’s youngest child, Bernice King, said,…
  Tweet Tower—Under the increased speculation that the president is unfit for office, the White House physician administered a cognitive assessment exam earlier this week. The physician, Patsy McPassfail, said the president performed “exceedingly well” on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test. Today, however, an unknown staffer leaked the actual test the president received. The leaked assessment contained  mostly tailored questions that…
Tent City—Under the new Trump budget, funding for the Department of Housing And Urban Development is being drastically cut. HUD Secretary Ben Carson told the press today, “We are still focusing on housing for the poor, but just not of the four walls, one roof variety. We will be moving toward a block grant model, which blocks…
The post More Memes of ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’ appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
There’s no indication that Fox News is tacking back toward sanity. A Laura Ingraham slot on primetime represents another doubling down on their conservative suckage. She’s the only Foxeteer arguably right of Hannity. Nothing should be right of Hannity, well, unless it has a shaved head and a Thor’s hammer tat. Don’t you realize if you make your viewers any less insightful they’re going to…
We asked Alex Bone four questions, which, as it turns out, is four more than we should have asked him. I heard you got divorced, so how is that going? So, yeah, I’m divorced.  My family and friends have forbidden me to date again, since I seem to have such bad tastes. My father says…
Sacramento, CA—A plane dropping flame retardant over a California pot farm today suddenly swung off to the east and disappeared over the horizon. The plane and its two pilots, who were battling the Now-That’s-A-Fire! fire over in Hurley, were later found permanently wedged in a KFC drive thru. Sacramento Police report when the two were arrested…

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