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I don't know about you guys, but my mom is heartbroken over this hottie's departure. Here's how to help mothers everywhere deal.
Houston-based rockers Glennwood Johnson and His Exploding Knees, once described by Rolling Stone as "…a musical act," has declined due to moral concerns.
“We were looking for this thing…” said Rep Nancy Pelosi, forgetting what a spine was called. Democrats House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer were arrested for grave robbing, last night. Caught in the act, shovels in hand, the two were taken into custody, booked, then released on their own recognizance.
“This will be a tremendous constitution, the greatest ever, believe me,” said Trump at signing. According to minority President Donald J Trump’s latest Executive Order, signed today, the United States now has a brand-new Constitution. “It’s a ‘repeal-and-replace’ thing,” said Trump at the signing, “but without all the hassle of getting my Congress to rubber-stamp it."
I will dispel the pseudo-socialist notion that the Messiah is from the same place as Wilmer Valderrama by shout-typing my evidence in your face.
Having already scraped the Trans-Pacific trade pact, Mr. Trump swore to only sign future agreements on parchment made from human skin and with the blood of ‘liberals’. One eyewitness, who saw the President complete the summoning, said: ‘I saw a scaly, rubbery-looking body, with prodigious claws and an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers…and next to him was Cthulhu!’.
Some nights I lie awake, wondering, is my son a nancy ass? Now, I fear the worst?: that he harbors dreams of a future in social work.
The USA is to offer legal protection for straw men. The Truth Recalibration Act 2017, will make it a criminal offence to attack a straw man and will also enshrine the evidential value of bogeymen, homunculi and Texas sharpshooters.
Studio City, CA—The Hallmark Channel has released a statement apologizing for the airing all seven movies from the Saw franchise on prime time television last Sunday. The network would like to remind its viewers this was a single incident, or seven single incidents (if you want to get technical), but Hallmark wants to reassure its viewers that they plan to remain dedicated to producing really lame family-targeted entertainment. The…
Since then our relationship with the Trump Administration has become strained peas.
Images feature the major Labour ministers in ‘relaxed and artistic’ poses carrying out their ministerial duties completely in the buff.
A troubled writer of supernatural tales has confounded his fans by returning from his sojourn in an isolated New England backwater not only with a fresh and healthy outlook on life, but also a fully completed first draft of his latest novel.

Master of the macabre Stephen K Torrance, a recovering alcoholic who has recently suffered a string of personal tragedies, checked in at a deserted out-of-season hotel over a month ago, in the hope that the solitude would help combat a crippling bout of writer’s block. ‘It was my hope that the oppressive snow-bound isolation would get the creative juices
I am Perineum, collector of moisture and bringer of grief—assailant to love and cunning puppeteer of adolescent boys.
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
After Obama lost his government health insurance, he found he couldn’t afford Obamacare WASHINGTON, DC — In an ironic turn of events, President Obama has begun selling his belongings in order to afford healthcare coverage on his very own Obamacare exchange.
Tweet Tower—The Trump camp is downplaying the sudden trial and execution of former FBI-Director Robert Mueller, which occurred while the president and his family were dining at his Mar-A-Lago resort yesterday. The President refused to speak on the matter, but he did mention the meal was wonderful and for dessert they had “the best cheesecake!” Ever since Mueller’s appointment…

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