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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
Did I hear her correctly? There's no way she just asked me if I have condoms on a first Tinder date, right? Could it possibly be going this well?
Apparently the term ‘Deplorables’ is not wildly popular amongst those deplorable people among us, so how about the ‘Unreachables’ or the ‘Irredeemables’? Or maybe we should channel some Vizzini and go with the ‘Inconceivables’? Our president enjoys historically bad early approval ratings and he’s flip flopped on almost every major campaign promise, yet only an astounding 2% of Trump supporters show any…
The firing of FBI Director James Comey by the President of the United States slammed Washington with the suddenness of a two-story bowling ball hitting the South Portico after being dropped from a blimp. And the repercussions have shot across the Capitol like a flurry of Kansas tornadoes.
If we slept together and haven't spoken in over two months, please throw my number in the trash. Otherwise, please refer to this guide for appropriate actions.
Faber College, PA—Skip “Skeeter” Mcyentire of Beta Alpha Lambda (BAL) is ready to take hazing to a more humiliating level with the addition of some built-in safeguards designed to protect his fraternity from any litigation. “All our activities come complete with waivers now, drawn up by our pre-law adviser and regular keg signer, Ted “Blotto” Freihoffer. “He’s been in pre-law for almost…
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
This online animation series is hilarious! But a serious point first: Some of you will need to be careful though (depending on your background, e.g. nationality), and not share it on social media. This funny web series on the early days of the Quran and of Islam is potentially even more ‘offensive’ to blasphemy kooks […]
Great Britain has sent a firm message to the world by revealing its latest Royal Navy warship is named after a sprightly but rather frail 91-year-old woman. Foreign navies are quaking in their bell-bottoms at the prospect of facing HMS Queen Elizabeth, having previously been intimidated by warships with names such as HMS Illustrious, HMS...
It has long been believed that President Donald Trump, who has described his own hair as resembling ‘a wet raccoon,’ had purchased his disproportionately more attractive Eastern European wives for undisclosed sums. Trump has even tweeted that he believes...
It was three tragic hit and runs that took my father away from us. And if my dad was killed by three cars, shouldn't Cars 3 be able to bring him back?
In response to the bewildering number of price comparison sites now competing to save you money on everything from travel to car insurance, a new comparison site, Shitehawk.com, has been launched to help consumers compare them. ‘I wasn’t sure whether Go Compare, Compare the Market, Confused.com or Money Supermarket would save me most on my...
I can't help but be ashamed of how materialistic I used to be. I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.
That's right, women used to spend their menstrual cycle in a tent, free from all men and sanitation. After testing, I agree, it's a bloody great idea.
Wayne Rooney has provided a timely reminder to fellow Manchester United players of his value to the team, following his appearance on the subs bench last weekend and ongoing speculation that he is out of favour with new manager Jose Mourinho.

‘Out of interest, how are you guys getting to Stoke next weekend?’ Rooney asked a crowded dressing room after Saturday comfortable win over Leicester City. ‘Obviously, I usually take us in my Ford Transit. Nice and warm in there with the underseat heating, we can crank up the tunes on the stereo, but it does kinda depend on whether I’m actually playing
Tired of waiting for President Trump to rise to the bait, the UN's favorite rogue nations have decided to go head to head by sending insulting messages to the other. The first message, sent to Kim Jong-un from iran@probablysomewhereinthemiddleeast.com, said he looks like a Tellytubby with lego hair, and anyway Kim is a girl's name.
We asked Alex Bone four questions, which, as it turns out, is four more than we should have asked him. I heard you got divorced, so how is that going? So, yeah, I’m divorced.  My family and friends have forbidden me to date again, since I seem to have such bad tastes. My father says…
Regional rail enthusiasts Later Anglia are countering the recent cold snap by boosting the temperature in their rail cars to levels that can vaporise tungsten, it has been confirmed. Combined with the recent chill caused by high pressure and a polar maritime air mass across the UK, the company’s latest thermal adjustments mean that commuters...

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