Check Please!
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Beauty lies in the beholder, and U.S. President Donald Trump is a beholder of beauty.  After all, he used to own the Miss Universe Organization the world’s premium international beauty pageant. Now, Trump appears to be employing some beauty pageant diplomacy in his nomination for the next U.S.…
"For years and years the White Aryan race has been loosing power to the mongrel races. This must stop!" So begins the manifesto of Aiden Vogel, a 22 year-old White Supremacist who attempted to commit a mass shooting outside a Denver-area Lowes this week, calling into serious question not only his own supremacy, but that of Anglo Americans in general.
. . . with a random sample of 204 men and 282 women born between 1983 and 2000. Most were heterosexual, though many said they were offended by that question.
In related news: Nike denies that it was planning to release an all-white sneaker to commemorate National White Chocolate Day ...
Washington Redskins owner, Daniel Snyder, says he is ready to "bury the hatchet" with critics who object to his team's nickname because they consider it racist.
We didn't figure we had inconvenienced anyone, and we sure would have been inconvenienced having to walk half a mile back to a regular lot, wasted as we were.
Need a gun, drugs, and counterfeit money? Software to hack into your fucktard neighbor's computer or somebody to kill the bastard outright? What about login credentials to a $50,000 Bank of America account for $500? If these sound tailored to meet your personal needs or if you're truly into kiddie porn, you ought to be X-mas shopping on the Dark Web.
Trompe l'oeil (tromp LOY) or "trick of the eye" is the technique of using realistic imagery to create an optical illusion of depth and thereby fucking with people's minds. The term originated with a trickster named Louis-Léopold Boilly (1761-1845), who used it as the title of a painting he exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1800.
Is the Tory Party under Boris Johnson actually a death cult? Top political analyst claims Tory supporters being lead into oblivion by a false Messiah.
There is only one kind of person in the world. He who knows about Schrödinger’s cat, and he who doesn't. For most of us, however, Schrödinger’s cat is a meme in search of a meaning.
The vaccine, a conjugate of multiple un-inactivated strains of COVID-19, has reportedly been shown to generate a strong immune response against the virus within a modified threshold of acceptable side-effects.
Small communities fearing panic buying bands of brigands might fall upon their local shops recruit mercenaries to protect their villages. Devon pensioners engage 'Magnificent Seven', while others employ mercenaries to to clear bandits threatening OAP supermarket shopping hours.
BEIJING, China (The Adobo Chronicles, Hong Kong Bureau) - In 2014, The Adobo Chronicles broke the news story that the American Psychiatric Association had officially confirmed that the taking of ‘selfies’ is a mental disorder. Since we broke the story, studies have been conducted by various groups and institutions, including researchers from Nottingham Trent University and Thiagarajar School of…
Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called 'Perversion Therapy'? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from 'Conversion Therapy' scandal.
Taylor Swift announced via her website this morning that she is closing her anal bleaching salon, Pucker Up. Ms. Swift opened the salon nine years ago . . .
News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youth exploded like after-market vape pens in this Amimsh town.
Such a fab dream suggests that you need to keep your sorry ass away from the Milli Vanilli OG. That shit contains more limonene than your average toilet bowl cleanser.
Gives me a chubby at the thought of observing National Cranberry Relish Day (11/22) and National Mason Jar Day (11/30). Thank god for thirty-day months, eh?"
Bullock, who in fact won over virtually no one during his seven-month-long candidacy, will reportedly also be stepping down as the head of the Bullock household, according to members of his family.

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