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A cyclist from Exmouth who disappeared after riding into a pothole on the B3178 is still missing, Devon and Cornwall police have confirmed. Search and rescue teams have been scouring the pothole since first light in search of Jason Beesley, whose Durango 29 Sport has been found on a ledge about 50 feet down inside...
The Frozen North—At the edge of the permafrost region of the Alaskan Arctic Circle-K, just north of the Home Depot, a group of intrepid explorers have discovered the best preserved remains of the elusive Snuffleupagus. Expedition head Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Gastropub, told reporters, “This discovery changes everything we know about early Pleistocene Muppets. For one…
Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
New edition: “Total Eclipse: Hate tries to eclipse tolerance in Trump’s America” – Now available on our FREE Humor Times “News in Cartoons” app!
Street workers and homeless teenagers have spoken of their excitement at how the self-drive service will speed up their untimely and tragic demise.
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We'll soon find out!
Please take a moment to donate to Hurricane Irma relief, and while you're at it, throw a couple bucks at the Kickstarter for my Flappy Bird-meets-Candy Crush app "Clint the Climber."
'Just found out that it was an American that killed more of our citizens in Las Vegas in one night than ISIS, North Korea and the NFL COMBINED have managed all year. Ban all Americans now. ONLY SOLUTION!!!!!' said the President, in his now-traditional Monday 3:00a.m. Twitter rant to the nation.
Tweet Tower—Two members of the White Council descended from the Misty Mountains of Rivendell today to bestow unto President Trump the coveted Sword of Tweétit-nuiân. The High Elves complained of boredom since the conclusion of the whole “ring thing” and felt ready to “stir some shit up again.” They stand ready to come to the aid of the armies of men once more. Rivendell…
Someone needs to put Zano back in his place and that someone is me! He’s starting to get a little too smug in his old age and sometimes he needs reminded he’s not a Jedi yet. This is a rebuttal of sorts to his feature: A Review Of Ken Wilber’s ‘Trump And A Post-Truth World’: Or, How I Stopped Evolving And…
Much to the surprise of shoppers, the UK has reduced its worth by 70% – to the price of a discount Belgium or a top-end electric toothbrush. This Friday, trade deals will be available for a fraction of their original cost, with consumers expected to rush out to buy a 55-inch Smart TV or a...
In the wake of the #MeToo environment that society now finds itself, many progressive parents are opting to spare their potential politicians from a lifetime of needless allegations. It’s safe, it’s easy, and it’s guaranteed to keep your future leader scandal free, or your money back! In a world where any touch can be perceived as a bad one, even decades…
"We will play until someone hits the ball past the green patch!" Mikey announces. As pitcher, I know this means we're in for a forever-inning.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.
It has come to our attention that Prince Harry is being forced to have his future wife sign a prenuptial agreement. According to "inside sources", the terms so far state that 'in the event of a termination of marriage' Meghan will be granted ownership of 11 of the original 13 colonies per the boundaries as of 04.July.1776.
Oceans 11 (because our oceans go to 11)—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Casino, has put forth a controversial new theory of our ancient oceans. Dr. Hogbein believes the early Ordovician period, traditionally believed to have been dominated by giant nautiloids and hemorrhoids, was actually ruled by a giant extinct submarine known as Megalasub.…
by Will Durst.More presidential wacky nonsense: arm teachers President Donald Trump tossed out some wacky nonsense, saying we should arm teachers, which encouraged the press and public to go nuts debating this ludicrous suggestion, totally ignoring commonsense ... Read moreThe Cafeteria Lady Is Packing HeatSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
by Roz Warren.Ever had a partner who said or did something odd as they climaxed? After a friend confided that his girlfriend always starts reciting poetry when she climaxed (specifically, Lewis Carroll’s Jabbarwocky), I began to wonder ... Read moreWas It Brillig for You? It Was Brillig for Me!Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
by Will Durst.The summer vacation is a time-honored testament to all that is right about America. And often, not less than a little of what is wrong. We look forward to it for months. Calendars have been ... Read moreHow to Survive Your Summer VacationSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

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