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Animal rights activists had a good year, but watch out for tRump! Those who say that we ordinary people can’t have any effect on today’s corporate behemoths should check out two breakthroughs last year by a group the establishment has long derided as somewhere between wacko and criminal: animal rights activists.
Dear Mr. Trump: Years after that encounter outside Trump Tower years ago, you're now the most powerful man in the world, and I'm sitting in the same spot in my urine-soaked pants.
The menacing looking year 10 lads who are always at the back of the bus when you get on for school are much, much harder than you, found a study today. Long thought to be the case from anecdotal playground gossip and your elder brother’s teasing at the dinner table, the research found that teenagers...
I understand the difference between right and wrong. And if somebody captured Rob Lowe, murdered him and made a jacket out of his skin it would be wrong.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
You won't BELIEVE the one CRAZY book your senior English teacher will make you read. Read the clickbait, guess the novel! (Answers included!)
A father of four-year-old twins caused a full-scale police search this morning after hiding Easter Eggs seven miles from his home in West London. Former army officer Ronan Jones told his sons that an Easter Egg hunt would be held the next day, then left home at 3 a.m., taking a series of night buses and a mini-cab, before secreting the Cadbury’s Buttons eggs under a recycling skip within the perimeter fence of a yacht club in Windsor.
Dinglebury, ENG—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and gift shop, is back in the news again today and pushing another controversial theory. In 2012 he proposed an alternative theory to explain the many megalithic structures dotting the English landscape. This important archeofictionologist now believes he has irrefutable evidence to support his earlier claim that they were,…
Mel and Sue have been named as the new joint manager of the England football team, after the FA agreed that they were already so rich as to be incorruptible and their total lack of knowledge of the game should not be an obstacle, as it had not been to the last five. ‘We are...
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
It turns out that I’m not the only person who dreams about her job at the library. I work at the circulation desk at a suburban library. I recently had a dream in which one of our most challenging patrons apologized for being such a nuisance, then meekly paid all her fines.
A suspicious package found on the London Underground has been identified by police. A spokessnifferdog from British Transport Police’s anti-terror unit issued the following clarifying statement: “A package discovered on Saturday by a passenger at the eastern end of the Westbound platform at Clapham South station on the Northern line was regarded as suspicious. British...
It was a notion of mine that The Meddler would backstory (a new verb?) as autobiographical. I was right. Lorene Scafaria’s new so-titled film — written and directed by her — is about Ms. Scafaria’s Mom. Susan Sarandon plays Mom. Her name is Marnie Minervini.
The butt bump may just be the safest greeting of all New research findings just released from the CDC show that the “butt bump” may be the safest way to greet other people. The CDC conducted a large-scale experiment to determine how to reduce the transmission of a number of viruses, including rhinoviruses responsible for...
A group of human body parts, both gender-specific and universal, have joined to demand that the British people cease making analogies between them and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne.
The government has caused further controversy this morning by announcing that its appeal against the High Court's ruling on Article 50 will not be heard by the Supreme Court but by Mary Berry, Mel and Sue, the former stars of The Great British Bake Off.
Turning 65 is daunting – a definite tunnel at the end of the light – but the more I think about it, the more I can identify the pluses (and not just plus sizes) that accompany this milestone. Here are a few. You get discounts...
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in the USA today gave clarification on the soon to be imposed safety measures required for electric cars. In addition to a two-tone siren that must sound the word "Pus-sy!" and a yellow strobe light mounted on the roof, all owners must carry a man who will walk in front of the car holding a red flag.
This isn’t about healing anymore, it’s about collapsing. I’m afraid that’s the only trick left in the republican bag of tricks. Speaking of bags, why not stuff your political party into one, light it on fire, and leave it in on someone’s porch? I would say ‘wake up’, but it’s probably best to stay asleep…

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