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One week after a video for "Try That in a Small Town" that uses stock footage to depict police brutality protestors as violent criminals propelled the lackluster song to the top of the charts, Jason Aldean is looking to harness his momentum with a full-length album of similar cultural-war-themed anthems.
Is the amount of human waste floating in Britain's rivers proof of the existence of giants? Cryptozoologist controversially claims giant humans are using our rivers as sewers, depositing their outsize jobbies in them. Plans to track these elusive creatures by following their gigantic spoor.
Police raid on chain of budget undertakers reveal alleged running corpses-for-hire racket. Were dead bodies being rented out to fill out sparse crowds at football matches, concerts and Tory party meetings? Anti-immigration political candidate claims some bodies skinned to provide 'suits' for illegals to pass for white!
Hurricane Lee remains a large, major hurricane that is creating dangerous surf and rip currents off the U.S. East Coast as it bears down on a reporter standing in a small rowboat one thousand miles off the coast of North Carolina.

Struggling right-wing news channel's new reality TV show puts ordinary family into midst of wartime Britain complete with rationing and deprivation. Family involved complains they were traumatised as TV company went to extreme lengths for realism, including bombing their street, and strafing their grandmother with live ammunition.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Monday signed a bill stripping manatees of their state protections over reports of homosexual behavior.
As Stephen Hawking revealed to have been guest on Epstein's right-wing fantasy island, conspiracy theorists speculate as to how quadriplegic physicist was able to participate in alleged orgies? Did it involve mechanical assistance, advanced puppetry or even magic? Are right-wingers using Epstein affair to project own perverted fantasies onto opponents?
As Reform Party drops candidate who turned out to be dead, journalist claims that fringe party is deliberately deploying corpses as candidates as elderly base of support starts to die off. Further alarming allegations that fringe parties could be planning to reanimate dead supporters to boost support, amid reports of polling station overrun by zombies!
Is a dating app for S and M enthusiasts being used to lure Tory MPs into 'honey trap' for purposes of blackmail? Backbench Tories apparently being enticed into 'torture dungeons' with anonymous photos of genitalia, then photographed while being bound and beaten. Security Services baffled as to who is behind plot.
Religious hate group denounced by government revealed as limited company run for profit by wealthy Tory donors. Did Tory government invent security threat in order to engender culture of fear in run up to election? Newspaper investigation claims whole religious cult faked in order to pursue government's 'Culture Wars'....
Besieged on all sides by the armies of Joe Biden's shadowy Deep State empire for the crime of trying to make America great again, Donald Trump needs our help now more than ever. The following are some ways you and your family can save money to use to contribute more to our President's legal defense fund:
Why is the government urging people to stockpile three days worth of supplies in their houses? Allegations abound that government scaremongering to terrify people into voting Tory at general election. Insider reveals Tory schemes to scare voters with stories of fish men marauding up British beaches, alien invasions and plagues of woke rapists.
After refuse-filled missile strikes Brussels, spewing stinking household waste across city, UK is accused of running secret scheme to dispose of its rubbish by firing it off in rockets. Despite denials by British authorities, suspicions linger that rain of effluent over German city might also have been from malfunctioning UK waste disposal missile.
Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he addresses the perplexing case of 'My Haunted Arse'. Can a person's posterior be haunted and produce supernatural phenomena including apparitions, disembodied voices and strange sounds? The Rev investigates.
Are desperate Tories planning to take another leaf out of Trump play book by trying to discredit election result? Top academic claims they might follow example of US Republicans and claim that voters 'hijacked' by phantom polling stations or even set up fake polling stations themselves on election day, in order to divert non-Tory votes....
Former Vice President Mike Pence was arrested for urinating in a public fountain in Cedar Rapids, Iowa yesterday, the latest in a rash of crimes being committed by Republican presidential candidates shifting tactics in response to mounting data showing that the indictments against Donald Trump have only helped him strengthen his front-runner status for the 2024 GOP nomination.
The Irish/UK conflict over illegal immigrants crossing the border from Northern Ireland to the Republic has escalated into an actual shit-throwing contest. Drive by shit flingings in North blamed on Irish militants protesting at strain the extra crap is putting on Dublin's sewage system, while Northern Irish paramilitaries retaliate by firing canned shit across border.
When 45-year-old Ellen woke up in a soybean field after spending 36 hours aboard an extraterrestrial spacecraft, she had no idea that her nightmare was actually just beginning.
Is a Washington fast food joint actually a front for a child cannibalism cult serving flesh burgers to liberal degenerates? As acolytes of latest crazy right wing conspiracy theory attack burger restaurant, experts dismiss claims as being yet more extremist fantasies and label its followers as 'deluded'.
Are a new subterranean underclass emerging from beneath the streets of London's wealthiest districts? While right-wing commentator claims that strange figures seen in empty millionaire mansions are evidence of 'immigrants in the walls', top scientist claims albino beings descendants of domestic staff abandoned and trapped in mansion basements.

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