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Google is launching a new online accountancy service, Google Diddle, just in time for the tax return deadline of 31 January.
CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers third-string quarterback Joe Webb attempted to get some attention today off of all the cov…
A libertine Texas man is the first confirmed case of the Zika virus being transmitted via sexual contact with a vector.
David Cameron, still the prime minister, has sorted that Europe thing out he said he would, according to David Cameron today.
Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.
"I would have been happy with a woof rather than a yap." Jessie Krufts, Pancake Flipper
PORTLAND, OR — That's because as of yesterday, Bullseye Glass Co., located at SE 21st & Powell, temporarily ceased the practice of pumping the two toxic carcinogens into the air at dozens of times the maximum safe level.
The ATF conducted a raid on an illegal meme factory operating out of Boise, Idaho, killing nine and releasing hundreds of animals with ironic expressions and headgear into the wild.
Tim Cook, the leader of Apple, has said he is happy to be water boarded if it comes to it after his company refused to help the FBI in what many are saying is a marketing stunt gone too far.
Political Storm Over Tabloid Claims About Corbyn's 'Disrespectful' Pose in Labour Nude Charity Calender. Party Denies Allegations of Leader Using Poppy to Cover Privates in November Picture.
SANTA CLARA, CA — According to several reports from eyewitnesses that have seen him just hours before Super Bowl 50 is t…
Chancellor Plans to Boost UK Manufacturing by Forcing Poor to Literally Consume Goods. Scheme to 'Eat Deficit' by Conspicuous Consumption Condemned by Economists and Medics Alike.
45 year-old truck driver and avowed white supremacist Luke Chandler of Alabaster, Alabama finished his appearance on Jeopardy this Thursday with a score of –22,600, a new record low for any contestant on the game show since its inception in 1964.
TORONTO — Los Angeles Lakers legend Kobe Bryant maintained his composure during a touching All-Star pregame ceremony hon…
Shocking new details of last year’s controversial nuclear accord between the Obama Administration and Iran have been revealed to the Dandy Goat, fueling outrage over what is widely viewed as a humiliating defeat for the United States.
PORTLAND, OR — The social media community is in mourning, as one of this newspaper’s own contributors, Jess E. Hadden, has gone into hiding. Two weeks ago, he disappeared from Facebook. Now, he’s disappeared from Twitter — and nobody knows how to reach him.
"My look is called 'Singing Barber Of The 1930s.'" Fred Flunkee, Retired Bargain Bin Man
Expanding upon his recent observation that “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” likely GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump added today that if the people he shot were Muslims and Mexicans, he would probably even gain voters.
Using a megaphone to command supporters to join him in a butt-shaking dance called the “Trump Bump,” presidential candidate Donald Trump did a victory lap in a golden chariot, just minutes after it became apparent that he had overwhelmed his opponents in New Hampshire’s Republican primary.

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