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Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
The anti-aging industry has always been a fertile breeding ground for fads, wacky ideas and charlatans trying to sell you miracle creams and serums. However, it remains the case that most of us would be interested in extended longevity. The…Read more The Science of Anti-Aging ›The post The Science of Anti-Aging appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
The BBC, taken by surprise by a production that people actually want to watch, have produced a list of spin off productions to be screened over the next twelve months.   The Oddie-Guard – a world renowned ornithologist protecting birds on a three seater bicycle.  Nobody knows why the birds are on a bycicle. The...
(Part 2 of 3) Central, Fl- Federal authorities, including members of the FBI and the Secret Service, have apparently joined the laundry list of law enforcement agencies investigating a riot that took place at the Sunset Mall Friday evening. Early…Read more Secret Service Investigate Florida ‘Orange Julius’ Mall Riot ›
by Will Durst.The summer vacation is a time-honored testament to all that is right about America. And often, not less than a little of what is wrong. We look forward to it for months. Calendars have been ... Read moreHow to Survive Your Summer VacationSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Gotham—After Elon Musk announced his desire to take Tesla private, many are wondering if he really has the 10-billion in petty cash needed to privatize his company. Musk’s recent celebrity sighting with billionaire Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, has stoked rumors Musk has already lit the ‘Bruce Signal’. President Trump is threatening to squash any merger between the two giants…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 10/2/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
The following program is in a 24-hour feed from the woods behind a dormitory and is rated "NC" for nest cam.
White House Press Officer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, has sensationally claimed that under-fire CNN hack, Jim Acosta, launched a frenzied sex attack on a young female intern after she tried to wrest the microphone from the newsman’s grasp during Wednesday night’s fraught press conference at The White House. Speaking to Breitbart News, Sanders said: “As soon...
Doctors always say things like "watch that cholesterol." They are unwarrantedly suspicious and overtly vigilante over an entire group. It's profiling!
1. Because he wants them to (vampires suffer from Oppositional Undeadfiance Disorder). 2. You need at least a 100 IQ to be turned, no exceptions (well, except Tom Cruise and Robert Pattinson). Vampires, as a rule, won’t turn children (so Trump’s 0 for 2). 3. No creature preternatural or otherwise would want to listen to Trump for…
Tweet Tower—One of the two presidentially pardoned turkeys is back in the news today. A day after their pardoning ceremony, one of the turkeys, Peas, sent a short and pointed note to the president. After the Feds determined the white powder on the envelope was only meth, the note was handed to President Trump. In a gesture…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 7/23/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.” US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into…Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet ›The post U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
Tweet Tower—Soon after the announcement of the creation of a Space Force, President Trump revealed his intentions to appoint Pixar giant Buzz Lightyear to head this new branch of the military. Lightyear, a twenty year veteran of animated space exploration, has already expressed his excitement and his desire “to protect this great country from all space threats while our nation’s…
New CBI guidelines have been issued designed to help ease the anxiety experienced by 98.8% of City of London office workers when having to share a lift with strangers or colleagues. Brian Payne, a completely self-centered futures trader, is just one typical case. ‘I hate getting into a lift with anyone as I never know...
by Humor Times.If they succeed, we lose: they get less competition, and will raise prices, and we get stuck with their lousy service and slowest-in-the-world internet speeds. Help support small internet provider companies by contacting the FCC ... Read moreGiant Telecoms Trying to Wipe Out the Small Internet Provider: You’ll PaySubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Oslo, NO—The Nobel Committee’s announcement of two joint winners in physics this year triggered a huge explosion in Oslo today. The  ‘winners’, a man from the U.S. and a woman from Canada, are still missing at this hour and presumed quantumly entangled. The explosion frightened many across a huge swath of the region. Along with some seismic aftershocks the event caused Maxwell’s Demon to shave Schrodinger’s…
Creating a family is one of the most vital steps in life for every man. It is easy when you have the right woman for that. But what if you don’t? Where to find her? Modern society lacks time for…Read more Finding A Great Woman Online: Is It Possible? ›

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