Police raid on chain of budget undertakers reveal alleged running corpses-for-hire racket. Were dead bodies being rented out to fill out sparse crowds at football matches, concerts and Tory party meetings? Anti-immigration political candidate claims some bodies skinned to provide 'suits' for illegals to pass for white!

As Reform Party drops candidate who turned out to be dead, journalist claims that fringe party is deliberately deploying corpses as candidates as elderly base of support starts to die off. Further alarming allegations that fringe parties could be planning to reanimate dead supporters to boost support, amid reports of polling station overrun by zombies!