Check Please!
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show!
  Tweet Tower—Under the increased speculation that the president is unfit for office, the White House physician administered a cognitive assessment exam earlier this week. The physician, Patsy McPassfail, said the president performed “exceedingly well” on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test. Today, however, an unknown staffer leaked the actual test the president received. The leaked assessment contained  mostly tailored questions that…
After years in the shadows, website Friends Reunited has pounced on a reecent drop in Facebook’s share price to launch a ‘hearts and minds’ takeover bid on the US copycat site. ‘We were the first, the best and we believe the only social networking site,’ said Cynthia, who holds the rights to the website address,...
Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.
The votes are in and… Yes! The Internet is now considered to be more irritating, obnoxious and intruding than television in its heyday ever was. The Internet was originally designed to be a tool of the military for passing along information electronically and swiftly from one location to another like who to bomb next and […]The post It’s Official Now – The Internet Is Now More Annoying Than Television Ever Was. appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Shockingly now homeless since his fall from grace last Summer, the once monumental movie mogul allegedly exposed himself to an outreach volunteer when she attempted to give him a sandwich this weekend.
In the first known plan by a group of fish to overthrow the federal government, the FBI announced they had foiled a plan by sharks to storm the White House and eat the staff and President. The President has called on congress to fund a new "Shark Wall" to be built around the entire country.
Ramallah, West Bank – (SatireWorld.com)
The remains of former Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat will be exhumed Tuesday as part of a renewed investigation into his death, a source close to the investigation said on Saturday. The same source also said Arafat’s Rolex wrist watch will have a new battery installed at the same time.
Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com)
According to the Smoking Gun, though Jane Fonda’s private foundation has nearly $800,000 in assets, the group has not made a charitable contribution during the last five years for which it has filed federal tax returns, an apparent violation of Internal Revenue Service rules.
The crash resulted in the collective loss of over $300 billion dollars worth of bitcoins. The price of just a single Bitcoin was $13,900 USD and climbing. Now it's all worthless.
A Miss Teenage USA has resigned Tuesday after a video surfaced online that allegedly features the 18-year-old beauty queen engaging in a sexual act at a fast food restaurant.
But the beauty queen also said the woman in the video wasn’t her, just someone who was wearing her clothes, crown, and had on a ‘similar Miss Teenage USA banner’.
Our top Sports reporter, Richard Head, lives and dies by the journalistic mantra: “always go straight to the source”.
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
On May 9, 2008, the Associated Press reported that Sharpton and his businesses owed almost $1.5 million in unpaid taxes and penalties. Sharpton himself owed $931,000 in federal income tax and $366,000 to New York, and his for-profit company, Rev. Al Communications, owed another $176,000 to the state. That’s almost ten years ago and why isn’t this clown-in-a suit in jail?
After receiving a few too many text messages while on vacation, a local man has decided he is going to have to let his boss go.
Muckie Grendle, a 34 year old man from Bakersfield and voracious carrot consumer, rushed himself to the emergency room after pulling out a live 3 lb rabbit from his rectum.
by Mark Adam Lowton
For the past few years, I’ve been a real dick to everyone. I have run off most of my friends and the people that worked with me and for me. I’ve banned writers from my publication for little or no reason. I’ve gone out of my way to treat Americans like shit. I’ve been inconsistent in just about every aspect of my life.
Now I know why. I’ve got Mad Cow Disease.

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