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JERUSALEM – A new and explosive Dead Sea scroll discovered in the hills above Judea, Israel, shows that Pontius Pilate recused himself in the trial of Jesus Christ after it was revealed...
Tributes have poured in after the passing of Martin McChuckle, who was most famous as one of the comedy slapstick duo the Chuckle Brothers. Together with the Reverend Ian Chuckle, McChuckle brought tears to the eyes of widows and children across the province through their routines about punishment beatings.
Yeah, this is an unscripted ghost investigation… and, boy, should we go with a script next time.  
  Tweet Tower—President Trump signed an executive order today demanding that former President Barack Obama vacate his head immediately. The White House was originally calling this a series of ‘wire tapping’ incidents, but is now referring to them as ‘voices’ inside the president’s brain. Trump describes these voices as incessant and derogatory. Fine, he said, “They’re constantly saying nasty…
Women’s protest leaves men everywhere helpless In the wake of the “A Day Without Women” protest, the nation is still coping with the ripple effect of a world absent the feminine touch. Schools, restaurants, hospitals and even strip clubs were a colder, darker place, and the message did not go unnoticed.
WASHINGTON DC – Trump spokesman Sean Sphincter today accused TV commentator Rachel Maddow of being “directly or indirectly in the pay of the liberal, left-leaning MSNBC news organization.”
BREAKING NEWS: Angela Merkel belted out her true feelings in the shower today. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, was recorded singing this variation of “Getting to Know You,” the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical The King and I, in the shower...
Pokey is singlehandedly blowing up our comment threads again, which is actually a welcome change from the usual spam. As tradition dictates, most of his comments equate to the old rightwing bait-n-switch. Whether he realizes it or not, the right’s recent social media  two-step is an effort to quell the increasing cognitive dissonance and avoid the whole, ‘Oops, we kind of elected a…
Since the election he’s jumped on the ‘fake news’ phrase like an old dog with a new chew toy. No matter what you think of Donald J. Trump, you got to admit he’s a cracker-jack salesman with an uncanny gift for manipulating the mainstream media like a three-armed rental clown juggling pin-pulled grenades.
Tweet Tower—Despite attacks from the press, President Trump remained focused on the positives today, mainly, how many negatives he has accumulated in such a short period of time. When asked specifically about his promise to have more scandals than Obama in his first 30 days, Trump maintained how his administration is still on an unprecedented scandal pace (USP). “Obama had too…
MOSCOW – The “Kremlin Gremlin” today issued a new policy order demanding that President Trump and other world leaders over the height of 5’7” must, in the future, approach him “on their knees or elf. I mean else."
“A White House intruder was wearing a red tie, ruddy complexion & fright wig. And, had a golf bag with him.” Actually, Trump wasn’t on his way in — he was escaping! When apprehended, he looked disoriented and was throwing shredded Obamacare confetti over Michelle’s vegetable garden.
Compared to investment banking, my colleagues tell me acting is almost completely recession-proof. People will buy tickets to shows even if they don't have the money to buy them!
After an improbable leadership victory last season, the Premiership’s strugglers have chosen to part company with ‘the bearded wonder’. This is despite Corbyn having defied critics and bookies to take socialist ideas to the top of a league, a league usually dominated by ‘capitalist scum’ like Man City, Man Utd and George Osborne. Known as...
A Saffron Walden man was said to be 'comfortable but traumatised' in hospital after a dogged attempt to stick to established norms and expectations of behaviour when in a public convenience.

Tony McGough, 34, entered the 3-urinal, 3 cubicle prefab on the High Street just after 2 pm on Wednesday. Opting for the far-left cubicle for a scheduled dump, McGough immediately began to back out when he found an unflushed shit in the pan along with considerable collateral skids on the sides of the porcelain.
Kidding. But seeing how he is the grandfather of polarization, we did tweak the cover for him a bit.
Iowa—Jeb Turley of Podunk Falls has made a living off of his predictions, well, that and dumpster diving. Two years ago he predicted all pizza crust would come stuffed with cheese and early last year he announced Trump would become the 45th president of the United States. This year he has become obsessed with werewolves and believes they will replace mankind as…
Noting that the Earth is at the end of an interglacial period that has seen the creation of many major mountains, such as Mount Everest, named after the double glazing company, Mount Snowden, named after the contractor who spilled NSA information to WikiLeaks and Ysgyryd Fawr in Wales, named after Spit the Dog, scientists have questioned the value of Mountain Rescue teams.

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