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Following the discovery of a massive oil deposit 60 miles west of Shetland, Nicola Sturgeon has called upon oil exploration company, Hurricane Energy, to change the name of the so-called ‘Greater Lancaster’ oil fields to Bagpipe and Haggis in an attempt to stake an official claim for Scotland. ‘Not only are the current names an...
A remake of the hit TV series MASH is to be set upon a US navy supercarrier anchored off the Korean peninsula. Executive producer Harry Winter said that the story will feature the exploits of a group of zany doctors who sit around all day with nothing to do but deal with paper cuts and the occasional head cold.
I didn't come all the way from England and finally get my own HBO program only to rant about an orange devil destroying our planet each week. I came to talk about guinea pigs.
In his book, “The Origin of Consciousness”, the late author Julian Jaynes detailed a compelling case for how and why leadership became the driving force in the development of civilization. Our governments, institutions, clergy, and corporations demonstrate and depend on Jaynes’ basic premise that, in essence, “top-down organizational charts” direct the masses toward behaviors and thinking…
The news that Nigel Farage will not be standing in the general election has been greeted with dismay by voters who were looking forward to the opportunity to tell him to ‘do one’ yet again. ‘I’m really disappointed,’ said Ramsgate resident Fenton Barnes. ‘I was hoping he might stand in our constituency again so I...
We have successfully made the transition from ‘know hope’ to ‘no hope’. In today’s political circus, the Freedom Caucus is now all the rage. Are you kidding me? The only thing standing between El Trumpedente and everything he wants for Christmas is a pack of hyenas? Through the magic of redistricting, we must support the minority of the…
Good ol’ activism can unite us in the ethic of the common good. The list of progressive innovations at the grassroots level goes on and on, dealing with one big, complex issue after another that small-minded, corporatist ideologues refuse to tackle (often under the “principle” that government — i.e., the public, i.e., you and me...
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
Astronauts aboard an International Space Station are on the brink of a discovery that will shake the whole human race. How it shakes out … is for you to see and find out. I will say, though, it does have to do with earth orbit space and...
Led by charismatic, one-armed Gethin Bedwyr, OctoFanggz combine swirling psychedelia with a somewhat severe German burlesque, sung entirely in Portuguese.
Supposedly, the Chinese or the Arabs or the Scientologists or one of those ancient inscrutable cultures, has a saying that goes, “May you live in interesting times.” It is generally considered to be a curse.
Guaranteed ways to publicly destroy the reputation of enemies ranging from your former employer or romantic partner, to a professional rival or your spouse's psycho ex.
Despite offering the ‘red carpet treatment’ to visiting friends, Aisha and Matt Symonds have been given a less than glowing review for offering their guests special cutlery, parking privileges and the use of ‘the fancy towels’. What should have been a weekend of bonhomie quickly became a critique of the host’s lack of gluten-free meal...
‘Whoever supposed we Trumps would be mixing with the ordinary rabble on Easter? Silly people!’ – Melania Trump
"You really think you deserve to destroy America after a test like that? My father and grandfather are rolling in their graves right now at the thought."
'Mr Hawkes met all the essential characteristics on our job specification grid and he excelled under questioning', confirmed Sarah Jones, senior HR manager at Forward Logistics today. 'We asked him to name someone he modelled himself on, and he told us that he was the one and only, and there was nobody he'd rather be. That was a recurring theme in his answers to be honest - you can't take that away from me, I'm sure he said, 4 or 5 times'.
    We’re pulling a Dylan on this one and not showing up for the award ceremony. We may tweet later that we’re honored and shit #Honored&Shit.  
“Trumpcare did go up for a vote today and it overwhelmingly passed if you understand alternative mathmatics. Democrats and the lame stream media simply forget to carry the alternate one.” —Kellyanne Conway
There is certainly liberal amounts of blood in our political waters, but I’m afraid it’s not actually type-D. This Susan Rice “scandal” has Benghazi written all over it. Hey, at least they’re reading. No matter where this next batch of rightwing dimquires lead, our republican friends will likely be covering this Rice dish right up until the…
New line of Ivanka fragrances With the wild success of her newly introduced perfume, Ivanka has announced that she will be rolling out an entire line of scents: The next will be “Putin on the Ritz.” The commercial for the fragrance will have Vladamir Putin and Ivanka dressed as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing.

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