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Saul Friedman exited the funeral hall, still holding his messy clump of flowers. Big Xian’s sister-in-law warmly smiled through her tears. ‘Thank you for the flowers,’ she whispered. Saul didn’t hear her. He slouched towards the exit of the funeral hall. Civil funerals were never quite his thing. They always seemed to be missing something. […]
Donald Trump derided Barack Obama during his campaign for using Executive Orders, but he has now become addicted to the handy shortcut. Donald J Trump has many tools at his disposal. Both Houses of Congress. The support of rural America. Friends in high places. His family. A supermodel. Twitter. Fox News. The Russian Federation.
NFL ratings are still falling. And if you thought the league didn’t care, you were dead wrong. There is so much to consider in the game of football than the sports betting odds for this season. And chief amongst these considerations is the manner in which the game of football is viewed. You wouldn’t expect the […]
Melania Trump is filing divorce papers. The First Lady is finally sick of the Donald’s ‘unreasonable behavior.’ This confidential excerpt is very revealing. #1 A bidet is not a toilet. Not even if you are the best bidet sitter of all. The Donald bidet-sits the best! Nobody sits bidets like the Donald. Well, yeah. Nobody shits them either, like […]
‘We haven’t seen this particular approach before, in which a man quite brazenly waves a large deposit at sales staff before producing a pen and ruthlessly signing document after document, before riding off on his healthily-gotten gains,’ said a police spokesman.
Nearly 50 years on, the survivors of the Poseidon Adventure are still waiting to be permanently re-housed on dry land. Rosen, Martin, Nonnie, Susan and Robin, who all managed to make their way through the watertight doors and into the propeller shaft tunnel before finding a way to attract the attention of rescuers have been...
Washington, D.C.—The White House is downplaying a fire that started earlier today in Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s office, or, more specifically, his liquor drawer. The fire occurred as Mr. Bannon was trying to recreate the Flaming Moe, a fictional drink of Simpsons’ fame. The flames quickly spread from the liquor drawer to one of President Trump’s auxiliary hair…
MPAA film rating system updated for an era of polarization and the politically correct. G – General Audiences. All politics accepted. Nothing too offensive to conservatives or liberals. Lassie may come home. Miracles may occur on 34th Street. Language no saltier than “damn,” “coccyx” and “tushie.” Examples: The Little Mermaid; Mary Poppins; King Kong PG [more...]
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
A word like “big” in a title can become a big deal. The Big Sleep, 1946; The Big Hurt, 1959; The Big Valley, 1965; The Big Chill, 1983 and in 1998, a really humongous biggie called, The Big Lebowski. Too bad 2017 seems to be...
Offred was forced to have sex with the commander again in front of his wife. Who treats white women like that!? Ugh, it was so terrible, because that like literally is my life.
I could not bear the thought of the work required to keep my hedges looking as trim and inviting as all of those hedges my husband had bookmarked and shared with me online.
The farewell handshake between President Trump and his French counterpart Emmanuel Macron has entered its third day with no signs of either man relinquishing their grip. The handshake began on the Champs-Elysees on Friday after Trump attended Bastille Day celebrations with President Macron. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it’ says Le Monde’s Hubert Virenque. ‘At...
Washington, DC—Vice President Mike Pence is doing his best today to sell a less than popular healthcare bill. Republicans took all the usual steps, including lying and relabeling, but to no avail. They are saying that the increased number of uninsured Americans, Pioneer Health Recipients and Obama death panels, which didn’t actually exist under the ACA, will be created and…
Pains me to admit it, but I was wrong about this President! Donald Trump has shown a steady, unswerving leadership not seen in our political landscape for a long, long time. Fine, I agreed to a lobotomy while I still have health insurance, or as I’m quoted on my discharge summary, “Go big, or go pancakes!” The nurse…
Davey Jones Depot—President Trump’s speech today in Warsaw’s Krasinski Square is now marred with tragedy. The Polish government had already promised the Trump Administration hundreds of adoring fans for his speech, so many are questioning the decision to send more U.S. crowd-stackers. The fleet of buses carrying the Trump rally enhancers are now missing. The president vows to…
Hope you enjoyed the quiz! Answers: 1. Macron 2. Mussolini 3. Macron 4. Macron 5. Mussolini 6. Macron 7. Macron 8. Macron 9. Mussolini 10. Mussolini 11. Macron 12. Mussolini 13. Macron 14. Mussolini 15. Mussolini 16. Macron 17. Macron 18. Mussolini 19. Mussolini 20. Macron 21. Mussolini 22. Macron 23. Mussolini 24. Macron 25. […]
Having met with top campaign contributor and social media guru Vladimir Putin, Trump came out glowing with the announcement that Alaska will be returned to Russia for “a full refund, cash!” The United States purchased Alaska from Russia in 1867 for $7.2 million dollars. Effective immediately, the territory will be returned to Russia complete with […]
Homophobic Tell #2: Your cat tries scratching your eyes out whenever Modern Family is on. Uh-oh, it looks like Mr. Whiskers needs some tough love.

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