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Fogeys, fops and dandies are ‘joyful’ today as the season for using words like ’tis, ’twas and ‘twixt has arrived. ‘I love those olde-worlde, Dickensian words and expressions,’ said articled clerk Roger Tweed, 57. ‘I was only saying to Mrs Tweed on the 16th inst. how splendid it will be to ask people what their...
The Royal Surrey County Hospital has been sold to car park operator NCP in the first deal of its kind, although other such sales might soon become commonplace if all goes well according to City financial experts.  From March all patients at the Guildford Infirmary will face the prospect of feeding bedside meters at a...
A white house spokesman has denied that President Trump deliberately snubbed the UK by leaving it off his list of ‘shithouse’ countries.  The spokesman said ‘I can assure the people of Great Britain that the president truly regrets not including them along with nations such as Haiti, El Salvador and Nicaragua. Sadly, he misspoke during...
Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.
by Will Durst.This tax reform rewards the rich for the hard work of ripping of the rest of us. They’re partying at the Cracker Barrel. Wings are flying out of Hooters. The Olive Garden’s endless breadsticks have ... Read moreRobbing Hood: GOP’s ‘Tax Reform’Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
I'm a man who took more than half a month tracking down a bird with nothing but the shirt on his back and an $800 bird costume. A proud man.
I have the world's best memory, so when I woke up this morning and couldn't find my car keys anywhere, I knew Crooked Hillary was to blame.
Davy Crockett actually wore his raccoon-skin cap as a functional warning to other raccoons not to climb on his head while he was sleeping.
The votes are in and… Yes! The Internet is now considered to be more irritating, obnoxious and intruding than television in its heyday ever was. The Internet was originally designed to be a tool of the military for passing along information electronically and swiftly from one location to another like who to bomb next and […]The post It’s Official Now – The Internet Is Now More Annoying Than Television Ever Was. appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Oceans 11 (because our oceans go to 11)—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Casino, has put forth a controversial new theory of our ancient oceans. Dr. Hogbein believes the early Ordovician period, traditionally believed to have been dominated by giant nautiloids and hemorrhoids, was actually ruled by a giant extinct submarine known as Megalasub.…
The first interview is with Glossy News Stalwart and editor of The Satirist, Dan Geddes.  Question 1 (From Alexander Pope) WALLACE: Brian K.White of Glossy News once interviewed you about your work at The Satirist. The latter is a fairly highbrow publication; but to me, it appears to carry this sophistication and erudition with a somewhat […]The post Freedom of Speech, Offense and Satire (Interview 1: Dan Geddes) appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Bubble and Adams both thought releasing their books at a joint book launch would be a good way to proceed further with their campaigns. But sad to say Bubble’s launch was an utter disaster; and equally sad to say, he appears to be a laughing stock for now. Still, he started well; then again, the […]The post Chapter 22: Coloring in the Lines (Honest Adolph, Volume III) appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Unless you’re in a coma – or your name is Baron Trump – you’ve no doubt heard about Michael Wolff’s bombshell tell-all book, FIRE AND FURY – INSIDE THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE. On its release day, F&F sold out in less time than it takes Donald to tweet “CNN is Fake News.” What you may […]The post FIRE AND FURY – INSIDE THE TRUMP EARLY YEARS appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show!
by James Israel.“It makes me feel so Christian,” says lawmaker whose family still gets the best health insurance. “Donald Trump is like a merciful King, allowing us to say ‘Merry Christmas’ again,” said Paul Ryan, Republican Speaker ... Read moreGOP Celebrates Being Able to Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to Kids They Are UninsuringSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Goosebumps books have captivated young readers for generations. Here's a sample from the latest entry in the beautifully written series.
by Will Durst.During this post-sacred season of super sell-a-thons, many remember sharing our blessings with the less fortunate. But what about the more fortunate? Here’s Durst’s Xmas Gift Wish List for them. Hey!!! Sorry. Just trying to ... Read moreBetter Late Than Never: Will Dur$t’$ Xmas Gift Wi$h Li$tSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
by James Israel.Now available on the Humor Times “News in Cartoons” free app, the latest edition: The ‘Stable Genius!’ You’d be “like, really smart” to get it! In the latest edition of the News in Cartoons Humor ... Read more“Like, Really Smart, and the Stablest Ever!” – Latest Edition of the Humor Times Free App!Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
  Tweet Tower—Under the increased speculation that the president is unfit for office, the White House physician administered a cognitive assessment exam earlier this week. The physician, Patsy McPassfail, said the president performed “exceedingly well” on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test. Today, however, an unknown staffer leaked the actual test the president received. The leaked assessment contained  mostly tailored questions that…

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