Check Please!
"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
"Yes, he's got the bear 'boingy' movement down pat. Kudos." Jessie Krufts, PE Teacher
"I bet $1 Donald Trump would approve of that." Kent Rugby, Political Commentator
"Flat footed varmint! GETOUTTAHERE!!! YAH!" Fred Flunkee, Varmint Catcher
"I've trained my dogs to run when they hear violins playing too. Can't be too careful these days."
"But on the other hand, if little cute puppy there got a splinter in the underside doing that, that would be the howliest, gnarliest, sound you have ever heard. It would dissolve that smiley child's face into a red mass of water and sobby half spoken breaths. Even I would downclick that." Jessie Krufts, Incinerator Manager
"Behind every successful catching man is a good woman there to take the bottle of beer out of his hand before he does it. Yeee hargh!" Jessie Krufts, Red Neck
"Try a bit of Elvis Presley next time, I used to scream at him when I was their age." Fred Flunkee, Hoola Hooper
"They need a tie-in brand of hotdog's to go with this series."
"Didn't they do that to some guy on The Sopranos once?" Jimmy Popper, Satire Critic
"I don't get Samsung phone flavoured water, but I totally get cheesy feet flavoured water. Mmmmhhh...." Kent Rugby, Flavoured Water Executive
"If they do an easier course for me on my mobility scooter count me in."
"I hope they aren't expecting milk from these teats." Kent Rugby, Shirtless Dancer
"I always sleep with my tongue out of my mouth. It scares the home help every time." Fred Flunkee, Good Ole Boy
"Well, I'd rather be possessed than obese." Jessie Krufts, Fat Shamer
"The cat seems to be meowing in English. Hilarious. I bet they can't understand a word it's saying."
"On balance, I would say it is much less annoying than slow honking." Jessie Krufts, Scientist
"That should be an Olympic sport, done by people in jet packs obviously." Jimmy Popper, PE Teacher
"Yea! At last a dog relieving himself without the nasty emissions normally associated with that statement. Although I do hope somebody checks for what looks like a brown dead fish after he gets out." Jessie Krufts, Puppy Carer
"How tall is that Police Officer if that camera is her body cam?" Jessie Krufts, Shortist

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from