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At 35.9%, Baton Rouge's obesity rate is the highest among the nation's most populous metro areas. What do you think about this?
"As far as I'm concerned, Caitlyn Jenner is no different than Hulk Hogan," says pro wrestling fan Brian "Bub" Sisler. By Lee Mays, Humor Times.
CUPERTINO, CA (The Barbed Wire) - At Monday's Apple developers convention, a new function of the Apple Watch was announced that could let the world in on a dirty little secret - should the information ever go public. The Apple Watch, a device that will eventually perform so many functions and will know so much about us that it will become the closest thing to a deity that most people have ever known, will actually track and record a user’s masturbation schedule, frequency, intensity, and location.
It's possible that smoking pot was the true Original Sin,' says Sen. Rick Sanitarium, after learning weed makes you horny. By Michael Egan, Humor Times.
English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is 'Christmastein Monster' Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry characterized the recent shooting in Charleston as an "accident" during an interview on Friday, accusing President Obama of using the massacre, which claimed nine lives, as a pretext for pushing a gun control agenda. "This is the MO of this administration anytime there is…
As the nation debates the immorality of the Confederate flag, a Southern activist group is taking it upon themselves to remind people of who they were over 150 years ago. After news broke about changing the $10 bill to feature a woman, Southern activist group Dern Tootin' started an online petition to change the face of the $50 from Ulysses S. Grant to Robert E. Lee.
The future of advertising has changed forever. After WPP and Snapchat launched Truffle Pig earlier this week, Omnicom and Facebook answered back with a new digital content agency of their own. The new agency, called Camel Toe, was announced yesterday at Cannes Lions and was the main topic of discussion throughout the day.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - “The media was consumed with stories about Americans have to be on the lookout for ISIS attacks and terror attack expected and, oooh, shark attacks, but I will bet you by the end of the weekend more Americans will have been killed by Mexicans than by ISIS or…
DAMASCUS, Syria (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The U.S. appears to be losing some ground in the war on terror in Syria. CNN is reporting that ISIS is advancing on two fonts: Times New Roman and Arial Bold.  
Planned Parenthood is issuing a nationwide recall of all parts purchased in the last ten years, admitting that they pose a serious public relations threat.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - A day after its successful flyby, NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft sent back the first close-up photos of Pluto. The piano-sized spacecraft traveled nine years and three billion miles to study the dwarf planet and its five moons. (On Aug. 24, 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU), an organization of professional…
Blaming a clerical error for the initial oversight, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has amended this year’s list of nominees for Best Actor, adding Craig Robinson for his performance in “Hot Tub Time Machine 2.”
MANILA, Philippines  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If it weren't for the statute of limitations and American comedian Bill Cosby would be charged for alleged multiple rapes he committed, his only way out would be in the Philippines. By marrying his accusers. Republic Act 8353 (The Anti-Rape Law of 1997), absolves the rapist from criminal…
HOLLYWOOD (TheSkunk.org) — Even the best of the best falter from time to time. Audience reaction to Steven Spielberg’s latest film, The Ride of Paul Revere, which debuted in selected theaters on Friday, was anger and confusion over sitting through a two-hour movie that was shot with the camera in the vertical, or “portrait,” format.
Strengths/Weaknesses Breakdown For Donald Trump's Imminent Presidency
THE PENTAGON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Pentagon thanked Fox News for encouraging idiots with guns to "guard" recruitment centers in Wisconsin, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, and elsewhere after the July 16th gun attacks on two unarmed military posts that killed five. The Army Recruiting Command especially wanted to thank Fox News for creating a situation where unarmed servicemen have to guess if random men armed with guns outside of their posts are going to attack them or "protect" them.
Numerous regular contributors to Facebook and Twitter are reporting that someone has been shot today.  Social media is buzzing as sketchy details continue to pour in.  It’s unclear whether there are injuries or casualties but something has definitely been shot by a handgun.
You need to understand, I pay tens of thousands of dollars to hunt and kill beautiful, majestic creatures in the wild not because I want to but because I have to.
CLEVELAND — LeBron James said today that there will be some adjustment getting used to new head coach Tyronn Lue, the bi…

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