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Unfortunately for Saudi Arabia this appointment is merely a consolation prize after a failed bid for Chair of the Human Rights Council, due to be vacated by Germany in 2016.
We do not write advice because you can’t teach stupid and you cannot change stupid.  However, we do talk to a lot of people and have discovered some common traits amongst people that are rotten to the core assholes.
SYRIA (The Barbed Wire) - Once the poster boy for the evil of ISIS, the man credited with killing numerous hostages held by the terror group is reportedly now on the run from the very group that made him a star. According to the Jerusalem Post, John is in hiding, probably within a different JV terror group.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced today he was considering former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin for a position in his cabinet, because Palin "is a very special lady, knows what is going on, and everyone just loves her." Palin thanked Trump for the consideration, accepted a position she called "Secretion of Fatherland Security," and gave her notice that she would quit within 2 1/2 years "just like in Alaska."
Bill Nye ‘The Science’ Guy recently attacked the sacred idea of creationism on a YouTube video.  The Internet and news programs have lit up with those on the side of creationism and those on the side of evolution.
A libertine Texas man is the first confirmed case of the Zika virus being transmitted via sexual contact with a vector.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republicans across the country continued to be outraged by President Obama's comparison of Republicans who want a war with Iran to Iranian hardliners who want a war with the United States. Fox News has led the outrage by calling Obama "unAmerican," "worse than Hitler," and "that Kenyan who stole the presidency twice."
David Cameron, still the prime minister, has sorted that Europe thing out he said he would, according to David Cameron today.
Outrage as local newspaper obituary describes deceased as 'utter bastard with no redeeming features', instead of 'local character and loving husband'.
DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - A senior official with Jeb Bush's Super PAC "Right to Rise USA" told TNA on the condition of anonymity today the $10 million-plus ad budget it had to make Jeb likable to Iowa's Republican caucus-goers was "way, way, way, way, too small." The Super PAC official added, "Jeb needs to stop hugging his brother George W. Bush's policies whenever he is asked about them, because that is not helping."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Fox News and conservatives from around the country continued to make respectful statements of support and give their best wishes to former President Jimmy Carter, who announced he has brain cancer and a grim prognosis. The reverent tone of the conservative statements to Carter encouraged many Americans that perhaps all semblance of respectful discourse may not have been removed from their country's politics.
NEW YORK, New York (Exclusive to The Adobo Chronicles® ) - It's cliché, but the saying, 'Birds of the same feather flock together' does hold true, especially in politics. Nowhere is this more evident than in the Republican party where self-proclaimed leaders and their believers or followers find delight in singing the same tune. Republican presidential candidate…
Hillary angered by new CNN poll: 98.5% of Americans consider her a "total horse's ass."
CUPERTINO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The stage is set for Apple's big announcement of its new products.  September 9 is the date when CEO Tim Cook unveils the new smart phones and tablets which would definitely seal his company's status as the leader in computer technology. While much of the speculation revolves around the…
LANCASTER, MASS. — The warden at the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Facility in Lancaster, Mass., has apologized after al…
SALISBURY, North Carolina (The Adobo Chronicles®) — The band Survivor has filed a $1.2 million lawsuit against Kim Davis and Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee over the unauthorized use of its hit song “Eye of the Tiger." Davis, the Rowan County clerk who was jailed after refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, was released Tuesday morning, after serving…
BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Louisiana man who turned a nearly $1 billion surplus into a $1.5 billion deficit in less than two terms in office called Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump a "delusional sociopath." TNA has learned the man's name is Piyush "Bobby" Jindal - Governor of Louisiana and yet another Republican presidential candidate - who embraced trickle-down economics in his state, caused massive damage to Louisiana's economy, and told Americans as recently as ten minutes ago he was "the best person to be the next president."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This evening, Republican presidential candidate and Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced he was ending his candidacy to destroy America's economy by means of trickle-down economics. A somber Walker asserted he had reached his decision "due to a complete lack of interest in me nationally. Heck, even the Koch brothers aren't returning my calls anymore, and I purposely destroyed Wisconsin's economy for them."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, American millennials reflected on how many things needed to be fixed in the wake of their parents, which they concluded were members of the "Most Selfish Generation" in American history. Millennials realized the Most Selfish Generation was giving them "a colossal mess to clean up" due to its refusal to pay for anything it uses, its conscious decision not to invest in any future projects other than military expenditures, and its embrace of social conflicts meant to distract Americans while the super-rich rob everyone else in broad daylight and exa
From Our Movies Correspondent: In an effort to save money, the next James Bond to be hired will sing the theme himself, in one of the most audacious money saving moves in the history of the popular spy movie franchise.

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