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MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - During a Q&A session at Facebook headquarters Tuesday, Mark Zuckerberg announced that a "dislike" button is finally coming to the social-media network. "I think people have asked about the dislike button for many years.  Today is a special day because today is the day I can say we're working…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton criticized rival Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for giving poor and middle class Americans "too much attention." Clinton argued Sanders was risking not only her ascension to the presidency, but the livelihoods of her friends on Wall Street by letting the poor and what's left of the middle class foolishly think they had "a chance in hell" of reversing growing income inequality.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, over two thousand analysts from the conservationist organization Help Save Republican Facts announced it still had not found a single fact voiced by any Republican presidential candidate during Wednesday's debate hosted by CNN. Help Save Republican Facts also declared 77% of its researchers were suffering from acute anxiety attacks after watching the entire second Republican debate numerous times in search of facts.
White Plains, NY – Ben Tripper is a local computer programmer and admits that he overanalyzes things from time to time.  
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is done with FOX News, and CNN couldn't be happier. Trump has reignited his war of words with FOX, vowing on his Twitter account that he will stay off the network for the “foreseeable future.” Trump declared in a tweet Wednesday morning that he…
The Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization most famous for its meticulous listing of so-called hate groups, has surprised supporters and critics alike by listing itself as a hate group.
Zearing, IA – Phillip and Jennifer Bloom make the same trip each year from their home in Jefferson City, Missouri to Minneapolis, Minnesota.  The retired couple takes one week in October each year to visit the birthplace of their silver screen hero, Vince Vaughn. 
Government announces plans to deploy UK's nuclear deterrent against Islamic extremists with nuclear strike on Birmingham. Migrants and Scots Nationalists also identified as threats to UK security and targeted with nuclear missiles.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was going to legally change her name to "Bernie Sanders." Clinton's decision to change her name followed weeks of her claiming to have exactly the same progressive positions as rival Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who continued to gain on Clinton in various polls of likely Democratic primary voters.
Luxembourg propeller planes bombed Syria today, joining a long and growing list of nations to have done so this year.
Local gun owner Frank Chance successfully defended his home against a kitten last night, shooting the five month-old Tabby with a 12-gauge shotgun.
DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Around noon today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson compared his lunch salad to slavery. The midday meal complaint followed Carson's increasingly common pattern of comparing things he disliked to slavery.
ROCK HILL, South Carolina ( The Adobo Chronicles ) - While the Republicans are working hard to exclude the liberal media from the GOP presidential debates, the Democrats have decided to be  more inclusive -- by including the candidates' spouses. The next debate -- technically being called a 'forum'  -- will be held Friday, November 6 at…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) announced all of the remaining Democratic presidential debates would occur on Mondays at 3AM. Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton denied any involvement in the debate schedule changes, as most Americans accused her of pushing for the scheduling changes to reduce the number of Americans able to watch Clinton debate her more progressive challengers.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama spoke about how the Trans-Pacific Partnership - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to drink poisonous fracking water. President Obama announced TPP will allow natural gas companies to sue the United States so they can overturn fracking bans and extract natural gas by pumping poisonous water into the ground, resulting in contaminated aquifers and other public water sources.
ANKARA, TURKEY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan announced he was "blackout drunk" when he ordered a Russian Su-24 shot down on Tuesday. Erdoğan claimed to be completely sober again, and declared there was no reason for Russia to station naval vessels with anti-aircraft missiles closer to Turkey, or construct anti-aircraft batteries in Syria capable of shooting down aircraft in Turkish airspace.
LSU’s Coates Hall, best known for freshman-level classes and persistent glory holes, is about to become a little more friendly to transgender people who want to participate in anonymous oral sex in a relatively safe environment.
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) - Imagine a film set in paradise -- Hawaii -- where no Hawaiians, Asians or other Pacific Islanders live. That's the take-away from Columbia Pictures' new film, 'Aloha' opening next week in theaters nationwide. Directed by Cameron Crowe ('Jerry Maguire'), the film features a stellar cast that includes Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone,…
Every student who entered the 2015 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words.
It's almost as if Jindalbot has been reprogrammed to say the stupidest things a sitting governor — yes, even one from Louisiana — can say.

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