Check Please!
Police Announce Plans for Special Squads to Snatch Cakes, Chips and chocolate from Fat Women as Top Doctor Warns of Super Sized Terror Threat Posed by Female Obesity in UK.
Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush announced his tax plan to the country yesterday, but quickly changed the after his 10-minute speech. "My wife, Columba, who is Mexican...er, Latina...whatever...and I have discussed this tax plan at length. There's nothing I won't do without her, as I know how important it is to get a Mexican...sorry, Latina, point of view."
“It’s really awesome because it’s got tons of me in it!” says Matt Damon as he described his latest film to a group of fawning journalists during a press briefing earlier today organized by his production company Matt Damon Is God Productions.
Independence, KY – For the 12th year in a row, some crazy lady in Kentucky has agreed to have 30 animals in her 1400 square foot home at one time.  The animals are all technically ‘pets’ but some are more domesticated than others.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This evening, Republican presidential candidate and Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced he was ending his candidacy to destroy America's economy by means of trickle-down economics. A somber Walker asserted he had reached his decision "due to a complete lack of interest in me nationally. Heck, even the Koch brothers aren't returning my calls anymore, and I purposely destroyed Wisconsin's economy for them."
Pope Francis addressed a joint session of Congress yesterday, calling on each of its members to commit suicide.
Pushing back against FBI demands that Apple provide access to the iPhone of dead San Bernardino terrorist Syed Farook, Apple CEO Tim Cook is set to announce the launch of a new mobile terror platform, tentatively nicknamed iJihad, later this week.
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Realizing that he won't be able to force Mexico to pay for the great wall that he wants to build along the U.S. southern border, Republican  presidential candidate and frontrunner Donald Trump has revised his anti-immigration policy proposal. Trump now wants to sell California, New Mexico, Arizona…
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles)  - GMA News is reporting that Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao has confirmed that he is running for senator of the Philippines, with the blessings of his wife, mother and God. The congressman from the province of Saranggani follows in the footsteps of U.S. Senator from Wisconsin, Scott Walker, who when he…
Government announces plans to deploy UK's nuclear deterrent against Islamic extremists with nuclear strike on Birmingham. Migrants and Scots Nationalists also identified as threats to UK security and targeted with nuclear missiles.
ANGELES CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)  reiterated the Church’s call for voters not to elect corrupt candidates to office. “Sinners can be forgiven but you cannot forgive the corrupt," Bishop Socrates Villegas said. “If we say that corruption is one of our nation’s deepest scars…
BOULDER, COLORADO (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced tonight's presidential debate on CNBC will focus on continuing the flawed economic policies that have made wealthy Americans staggeringly wealthier over the last 35 years. In order to effectively reinforce the debate's plutocratic theme, CNBC announced it will not allow Americans to livestream the debate unless they have an overpriced cable or satellite subscription that includes the network.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, presumptuous Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was considering Dick Cheney for her old job at the U.S. Department of State. Clinton explained Cheney "made sense" as Secretary of State since her foreign policy would resemble the Cheney-inspired preemptive war policy used by President George W. Bush, and pointed to her consistent record of wanting to go to war with countries predominantly located in the Middle East and North Africa.
By now, my love, I am certain you have learned about our unfortunate setbacks on the petition signature front. Our brave leaders continue to tell us to fret not about that battle, insisting we shall prove victorious in that theater before next month draws to a close.
"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
The Family Dinner’s Evan Rabalais joins Sunny Weathers and Jeremy White at El Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant to promote his new comedy show and contribute to the conversation about various happenings and goings on.
The ink is barely dry on the referendum and now Irish mothers are pressuring their gay sons to get married.
COLUMBUS, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and rabble-rousing billionaire Donald Trump burned the original U.S. Constitution while his supporters chanted "U-S-A" during a rowdy campaign rally. It was not initially clear how Trump obtained the actual Constitution, but the hallowed American document burned much faster than Trump had expected, resulting in minor burns to both of his hands while roving bands of Brownshirts for Trump physically assaulted non-white protesters in the crowd.
DORAL, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles) -The True Invisible Empire Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan describes itself as an Order of the Highest Class for White Christian Men of Intelligence and Character. It is one of many current unnconnected groups that use the KKK name. The Ku Klux Klan (KKK), or simply "the Klan",…
Kingwood, WV – Dwayne Bozeman had a lousy day at work.  By all accounts, one of his worst ever.  Dwayne fights pesky insects for a living and takes great pride in his ability to clear the world of termites, cockroaches, and ants from innocent homeowners.  The insects won, on this day, and Dwayne was none to happy about it.

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from