Check Please!
Washington, DC -(

Ex-President Barack Obama opposes offering a different kind of 'cash reparations' to the descendants of slaves, putting him at odds with some black groups and BLM leaders.
North Korea – (
North Korean Leader-for-Life Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance in five weeks. The official state media reported Tuesday that Jong Un was in splendid health and swam in frigid water for almost 25 miles, climbed 12,000 foot Mt. Un Lin by himself, then bedded 12 prostitutes to prove his healthiness.
Hoping to duplicate the success of Bitcoin and other digital currencies, Sesame Street today announced the creation of Bertcoin.
Washington, DC – (
Hypocrites unite! Join the Democratic Party and be with friends like Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Schumer the Tumor, or Nancy Pelosi!
Well, at least now we know why the Tories are so obsessed with internet pornography: they seem to spend a lot of their time looking at it. Well, allegedly,
TOTONTO, Canada  (The Adobo Chronicles, Toronto Bureau) - The Canadian government has ordered a review of the purchase of  Bell 412 EPI by the Philippine government amid concerns that it will be used against local insurgents. In response, the Philippine Department of Defense that it will purchase the combat helicopters elsewhere should Canada cancel the…
After having opened up the borders in Arizona as it’s liberal governor, and then continuing her career as Czarina of Homeland Insecurity, Janet (Jack) Napolitano says she’s taking her distinctive white skunk striped hairdo and leaving for the hallowed halls of California to take up the reins as the lower leanings president of liberal education for all of California’s universities.
( Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. “Let’s Make A Dill”, the #2 Game Show, to be sponsored by Levitra for next five years. (Longer than Viagra’s “Dill of Fortune” 3-year contract).
Coming quickly on the heels of Communications Director Hope Hicks's own resignation last week, the latest member of Trump's inner-circle and the 205th staffer to quit the administration in the last two months is another major blow to a presidency in turmoil, some say.
New York – (
Ex-US president Barack Obama has been summonsed as a character witness in the upcoming House of Sword princes corruption trial.
The move follows a crackdown at royal Saudi palaces last Saturday where ‘a lot of crack cocaine’ was seized along with dozens of surface-to-heir missiles, camel-oriented pornography and infidel sex toys – including a 30ft-deep Michelle-O rubber pudenda nicknamed Alwaleed’s Ravine.
After a tumultuous year working with General HR McMaster as National Security Advisor, President Trump announced he would be replacing him with TV personality and tactician HR Pufnstuf. Let’s see how they compare.
Returning from his latest sojourn to Mar-a-Lago this morning, The President was surprised to discover that Secretary of Agriculture Tom Green has painted The White House plaid during his absence.
A caravan of over 200 Central American biochemists heading for the US will compete for American jobs once they cross the border, its organizers say.
NYC, NY – ( A New York attorney suspected of laundering dirty money who says he ‘never stepped a foot inside the bouncing Check Republic’ will play schtum before the law courts his lawyer said today.
Seeking to "stem the flow of rumor and innuendo", Donald Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani acknowledged the existence of a non-disclosure agreement between the President and Barkie the dog, a Corgi who Trump reportedly spent part of an afternoon with during the run-up to the 2016 election.
Los Angeles, CA-(
The dog trainer to the stars has hit a bumpy road in the last few weeks with the announcement of an impending divorce.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions today once again turned to The Bible when pressed with more heated questions regarding the Trump Administration's policy of separating the children of men and women caught attempting to illegally cross into The United States - this time however to a series of passages that have heretofore never existed.
Washington, DC – (

A spokesman for the FBI unveiled a plot against a Congresswoman today at a press conference in Los Angeles. The thwarted crime was supposedly formulated by Trump supporters said FBI field agent Henry Winnebago. The charges included to ‘kidnap and extort Administration critic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters, by using a trap-like device located on the grounds of her Los Angeles home’.
So, I was reading the other day as to how when the Queen finally shuffles off this mortal coil, we'll get two extra bank holidays: one for the funeral, one for the coronation of her successor. Which means that we'll have to hope that she pops her clogs during the Summer so that we'll have the best chance of being able to fully enjoy these extra days off...

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