The Biden Administration recently released an itemized outline of how it plans to re-build America with a colossal $2 trillion infrastructure plan. But how does it compare to the plan Donald Trump had been formulating before losing the 2020 election? The following table summarizes some of the main differences:

Welsh Nationalists demand return of Stonehenge after new archaeological study claims monument originally erected in Wales. Allege that stone circle was illegally removed to England in act of cultural appropriation and rebuilt without planning permission. English historians rubbish Welsh theories.

Was UK's post-Brexit fishing deal actually negotiated by Larry the Downing Street cat? Allegations of fish-fetishism at highest levels of government abound as ministers face fish-based attacks from angry fishermen. Military action threatened as 'British' fish defect to EU waters.

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a mad scientist finds himself cuckolded by his priapic alter-ego, released by imbibing his own experimental erectile dysfunction treatment. Can the Rev help?

Often frustrated by the limitations of his parents' low six-figures salaries to satisfy his desire for things, Aiden recently decided to take matters into his own hands by starting his own methamphetamine manufacturing business.


































































 
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Stacey Abrams has become the latest public figure to find herself in the cross-hairs of cancel culture after the former Georgia State Congresswoman made a lunchtime faux pas some have deemed racist.
































































 
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Just back to London from months spent at the Queen's Sandringham estate, the Duchess of Cambridge appeared outside the family's Kensington Palace with her "black" friend Evangeline Parker, a blonde woman from Chelsea.
































































 
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Convicted of the rape and murder of a white woman abducted from outside a Woolworth's in 1934, Kirby Jones claims that he was nowhere near the store in question that day.



































































 
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Britons vent anger at government's incompetent handling of pandemic by garroting, burning and hacking to death ministers in violent online game. Virtual mobs seek head of Boris Johnson in order to secure victory. Has game inspired real life vigilantes to chase Covid-deniers and lockdown sceptics up trees?

British public warned of existence of a new, more virulent strain of Boris Johnson. Women warned to stay at home as new slicker, less buffoonish Boris mutation poses greater threat of impregnation. Boris Johnson deniers dismiss new variant as 'scare tactic', claim original is actually shaved ape.

US public demands to know where Batman was during Capitol insurrection? Absence of superheroes during Trump terrorists' attempt at sedition criticised as comic book nerds ask whether suppressed Michael Moore Justice League movie predict coup attempt?

LONDON--Dr. Kal Memon at the CHI Saint Lawrence Pediatric Research Hospital said this week that recent research has shown that developing babies can reap great benefits from light to moderate shaking a few times a week. "Brief, lightly intense shaking can release hormones in the brain that stimulate and accelerate intellectual development," Memon explained, "But…

LANDOVER, Maryland--Dr. Theodore Jennings, a behavioral psychology researcher at the King-White Institute, has authored a report showing that sustained, dehumanizing childhood bullying is still the best and most effective way to unleash telekinetic abilities in children. "In spite of years of lab studies in which researchers have attempted to utilize logic games and puzzles to…

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah--Speaking today at the Favored Children's Conference at Brigham Young University, Our Heavenly Father shed light on a topic that has been heavily debated over the past decade: how effective are thoughts and prayers? The remarks came in response to comments during a panel on plagues, when a young woman began her…

Are you one of the millions of Americans opposed to getting a COVID-19 inoculation? You might get one anyway according to a source who says the US government has started to slip the vaccine into your injectable drugs, cigarettes and even favorite junk foods.
































































 
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Administrators of Baby Goose Steps, a pre-school dedicated to the early education of Nazi children since its founding in 1987, denounced the attack that left its north entryway defaced with a menorah and Star of David.
































































 
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We spoke with former President Donald Trump about his legacy, life after the presidency, and his soon to be released fictional memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of all Time. Q: You wrote this memoir under a pseudonym, DJ Trump. Why? A: There are some kiss and tell moments. Some dirty little secrets, like the…

Former President Donald Trump's opinion of his impeachment defense has reportedly slipped further after his own attorneys began to argue in favor of conviction on the Senate Floor this afternoon.
































































 
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(ATLANTA, GA)--Dr. Inger Damon with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier today that recent computer models warn of a new surge of COVID-19 variants, and that if it were real and still existed, the town of Mayberry would have already been wiped out by the dreaded disease. Dr. Damon warns that the…

WASHINGTON DC--Embattled Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene responded strongly to her detractors, both inside the US House of Representatives and in the media, by returning her focus to working for her constituents in Georgia. "These morons may have voted to remove me from various committees," Greene said, "But that only allows me to turn my…