Check Please!
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st). Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to eat. Che Francois had the audacity to tell us that we our costumes were okay, but that we needed to remove our Halloween fright masks before being allowed to enter their restaurant. None of us were wearing masks! I have never been so insulted!”
San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com)
California democrats have demanded that Donald Trump move the military and National Guard away from the borders and allow the invaders marching through Mexico to enter the country by Tuesday so that they can vote in the mid-term elections.
Some Texas voters are calling foul on a series of bonus questions included on their ballots they claim are designed to give Republicans an unfair advantage in this year's midterm elections.
Speaking of that Honduran caravan.

Here’s a question for you. It’s about that caravan heading thousands of miles t o storm our Southern border.
I’ll make it simple…. Where do they dump?
The Hondurans in the caravan, the 7,000 people walking north to America, where do they go to the bathroom?
How do they eat and sleep and store their clothes? How is it that after a week on the road they are clean and their hair and clothes are well kept?
Selvoka, Poland-(satrireworld.com)
Former Ukrainian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia. He was finally arrested for lying on a citizenship application and entering the US illegally immediately after the end of WWII. He was deported after a lengthy immigration battle back to Germany.
Durango, CO-(SatireWorld.com)
David Brady of Durango, Colorado has been arrested by local authorities for deviant behaviour. The sixteen year old high school student is being held in county jail pending psychiatric evaluation and could be sentenced to time in a state mental hospital.

Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com)

Happy' Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the 'Happiest Man in the World!' He's earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude.
National Park Service, South Dakota – (SatireWorld.com)

The National Park Service confirmed that Barry Obama could possibly be the first black figure carved into Mt. Rushmore. President Barack Hussein Obama had made a list of 'first things to do' as the first black President living in the White House and it seems being immortalized in stone is high on his priority list.
Satire World Editorial:
Last year, we had idiots camping out all over this country to protest the one percenters. They disrupted business on Wall Street and in many other cities just for publicity purposes. This group claimed to represent 99% of the American people, but they didn’t represent me.
NOTE FROM WALLACE: This is an absolute shocker! You will lose half your toupee with this one! From Wikipedia: Red hair (or ginger hair) occurs naturally in 1–2% of the human population. It occurs more frequently (2–6%) in people of…Read more When Exotic Wildlife Attacks… OMG! You’ll Never Guess! ›
What’s that word? Apathy? I was apathy, bro. No, wait, empathy. I was empathy. My bad ha!
1. Because he wants them to (vampires suffer from Oppositional Undeadfiance Disorder). 2. You need at least a 100 IQ to be turned, no exceptions (well, except Tom Cruise and Robert Pattinson). Vampires, as a rule, won’t turn children (so Trump’s 0 for 2). 3. No creature preternatural or otherwise would want to listen to Trump for…
by Jennifer Hollie Bowles.What’s your sign? Check out your Funny Horoscope November 2018, and the outlook for all those jerks you know, right here! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! ... Read moreHoroscopes for Jerks: November, 2018Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Investigations have revealed that the Democratic Party has already been organizing and planning riots, looting, car burning, violence, mob action, protests, and crying in areas where the Republicans win races in the mid-term elections on Tuesday. George Soros and Oprah Winfrey have each pledged millions in funding to pay for the “spontaneous protests” that are being scheduled all around the country.
As local man Gerry Gurstaed nears retirement age, he is looking forward to watching the company he worked so hard for enjoy spending all the money it made off him over many years.
Does A Bear Poop In The Woods?

The United States National Park Service officially clarified what was mostly snide jokes and hearsay remarks concerning the bathroom habits of North American bears. Today, Ranger Bud Ricks held a press conference at the Wilds Federal Reserve addressing the pressing issue of where a wild bear actually does his ‘scat’.
Can gender fluidity exist beyond the grave? Can spirits 'cross over' after they cross over? Man sues local medium after dead mother's spirit manifests itself – but in male form.
Was company behind UK body parts scandal planning to set up online 'body shopping' site? Extraordinary claims that target 'body shoppers' would have included mad scientists, necrophiliacs and shady clinics catering to the ultra rich.
Are feminist extremists out to demonise all single men as potential rapists? Tory politician makes extraordinary claim that men being forced to go gay or transgender in order to avoid anti-male persecution. Alleges that militant feminists plotting to have men treated like terror suspects.

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