Check Please!
by Jennifer Hollie Bowles.What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s February 2018 horoscope right here! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong. Just ... Read moreHoroscopes for Jerks: February, 2018Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Mick Zano’s approach to our current Russian investigation debate, if you can call it an approach, is to list 9 out of 10 unnamed fictitious “experts” from the future who will someday conclude that the FISA warrants were justified. Nice. I don’t have access to his futuristic technologies. My approach is to read the 4…
With the precision of a casino dealer cutting a deck of cards, I scooped two large scoops of vanilla ice cream and put them into the frosty mug.
Dear friends, fans and followers, please catch these exciting Wallace Runnymede satire, fiction and poetry books before the deal ends, Tuesday midnight! You can find my books on national Amazon stores all over the world; not just the USA or…Read more Free Books Until Midnight! ›The post Free Books Until Midnight! appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
We survived our Italian summer – it was tough, but someone’s got to do it! It’s hard to learn even the most basic tourist phrases of another language (hello; excuse me; pardon the fart; where is the toilet?; waiter, the check!; please remove your thumb from my nose) in 4 weeks.
Nogales, AZ—An angry Tweet from Donald Trump has enslaved thousands of ‘snowflake’ liberals for the single purpose of building his promised border wall. The President told the press today, “I said the Mexicans would pay for the wall and clearly some of the folks we detained this week are pretty brown, really brown people. Sure, some are just tan because we picked them…
Tweet Tower—President Trump is finally shifting to center. He has a plan to pitch some political compromises in the hopes of luring democrats toward his nefarious agenda. The President wants to utilize green energies to increase our military prowess and expand our nuclear arsenal. Trump said, “Just think if nuclear bombs could be created more efficiently, like by wind power.…
Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—The American movie industry has been releasing the simplest possible movies for overseas markets, especially in China, to pay back the Chinese for flooding the American market with shoddy merchandise, according to Hollywood insider, Wily Hangeron. “Hollywood” no longer cares about making quality films,” said Mr. Hangeron. “North American audiences are cynical about movies […]
In shocking news, a proven pedophile nearly got elected Senator in the United States of America. In the biggest story since the Virginia and New Jersey elections, a stunning event happened in a southern American state.
Fogeys, fops and dandies are ‘joyful’ today as the season for using words like ’tis, ’twas and ‘twixt has arrived. ‘I love those olde-worlde, Dickensian words and expressions,’ said articled clerk Roger Tweed, 57. ‘I was only saying to Mrs Tweed on the 16th inst. how splendid it will be to ask people what their...
The Russians are helping! The Russians are helping! The Daily Discord is pleased to announce a prominent Web Traffic Analyzer from Moscow, John Smith, plans to help our website receive more traffic by expanding our social media presence and improving our Google ranking. And, since they are such big fans, they’re offering an extended free trial for their services until…
ITV cleaning staff responsible for maintaining the studio used to broadcast the popular, This Morning show, have walked out in protest at having to remove the trail of slime that presenter, Eamonn Holmes, leaves in his wake when he leaves the studio each day at midday.
Houston, TX—Justin Russell of Bellaire remains trapped on a Whataburger rooftop since Hurricane Harvey savaged the Houston area last Friday. The man claims to be struggling with weight gain, lethargy, and excessive flatulence. He told the Discord, “Look, I’ve watched the film Supersize Me, so I know I don’t have a lot of time! I can feel my arteries…
Haters and losers, folks, haters and losers. So many stupid people, ignoring the facts. Don't even remember I got rid of ISIS in my first 30 days.
Tweet Tower—President Donald Trump is blaming his military Generals, not his related tweets, on the latest confusion that resulted in tons of hurricane relief supplies arriving in N. Korea and an armada of U.S. Navy warships being dispatched to Puerto Rico. Kim Jong Un was reportedly “as surprised as anyone” that four supply freighters filled with food, water…
Wherein our intrepid talk radio host, Jerry Duncan, interviews Republican House Majority Leader Paul Ryan. ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY Good morning listeners nationwide.
While the deactivation of President Trump’s Twitter account has caused consternation, very few people have noticed the absence of Mr, Trump on Friends Reunited. Likewise social media users seem unconcerned that the President has been inactive on iTunes Ping from 2012 and following tensions with North Korea, has barely posted on Friendster. Initially a rogue...
What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s horoscope right here every month! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you!

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