Check Please!
Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)

Ahead by more than 600,000,000 votes days after Georgia’s gubernatorial election, Republican Brian Kemp pushed for Democrat Stacey Abrams to finally concede Saturday as civil rights groups urged her to stay in the fight even though she’s losing by more than 6 million votes.
During an otherwise restful sleep, your dreams took an unexpected turn last night when German Chancellor Angela Merkel emerged from a forbidding forest to give you the location of a crucial cheat code for the video game Red Dead Redemption 2.
The Chaos President weighs in on Brexit
Trump criticized Governor Jerry Brown for not “de-raining” the skies in the months preceding the storm.
What does the Downing Street cat think?
Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com)

The national internet outage that affected several carriers/providers for internet and cell phone service has been blamed on several factors:
Released days after his arraignment Monday, the bombshell report that as much as one-fortyith of Patterson's ancestral heritage originates from south of the border adds new social and political significance to a case that has already captured national headlines.
Explaining the need for the new NSIA via telephone to Fox News' Shepard Smith, the President made derogatory reference to the existing intelligence agencies, calling the NSA the 'National Stupid Agency' and the CIA 'dumb'.
Is Jeff Bezos' penis about to bring down Trump? Amazon boss calls Trump-supporting tabloid's bluff, daring them to publish illicitly obtained 'below the belt' photos of the billionaire. Does 'smoking wang' point toward President?
As soon as David Lammy used the term 'White Saviour Syndrome' with regard to certain Comic Relief celebrities, the reaction was inevitable: the ludicrous allegation that Lammy is being racist for condemning white people trying to capitalise on their charity 'work'...
Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime - promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.
"There were fighter jets and tanks and real-life soldiers and all kinds of stuff," Lupke said. "Also, I had an ice cream cone and a whole big bag of popcorn all to myself."
Shot on the streets of Smethwick, Postmark Evil is an insane mix of horror and crime featuring an apparently demonic postman searching for a stolen artefact possessed of evil powers. Made on a miniscule budget, it is part of a cycle of direct-to-video exploitation releases produced by and starring Reg Smedley, all filmed in the West Midlands.
Special Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner
Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com)

The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Enola Gay family since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold charcoal products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational industry.
Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)
Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials. Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled court system, will join ISIS terrorists in beheading Christian missionaries in an unknown Middle Eastern location.
In an impromptu visit surprising the Judiciary Committee that recommended his confirmation 27 years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas stopped by the US Senate this week to reminisce with the legislative branch about his hearing way back in the day.
A neuroscientist told The Atlantic, "We fed our octopus more than Ecstasy. How could we not?"
SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL-

I grew up on the United States-Mexico border in El Paso, Texas. I’m also a white guy… 100%. My dad’s family comes from England and my mom’s is from England on one side and Italy on the other. Before England and Italy, I don’t know where they are from (and I am too cheap to take the DNA test they offer on TV for $69.99).
Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com)
Adolf Hitler’s only granddaughter, Ava Gesundheit Braun-Hitler, announced the August birth of twin sons who were delivered in a secret underground bunker beneath Bonn General Hospital. Reportedly the twins were conceived at the Josef Mengele Fertility Clinic in Paz, Bolivia. Both mother and twins are reportedly doing fine.

A huge torch light first birthday rally is planned in Munich next August where the twin boys will be attending a military boarding school.
Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com)

Happy' Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the 'Happiest Man in the World!' He's earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude.

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