Check Please!
Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com)

The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison. Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.
A federal judge this week released a local man who had been on death row for fourteen years after new evidence came to light showing that he was at the beach the entire time during the week of the murder.
"At the risk of sounding nepotistic, there would be nobody more competent to serve at the UN than Ivanka, and nepotism would have nothing to do with it," the President remarked. "There would be absolutely no nepotism."
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Twitter account holders will soon have to say goodbye to their ‘retweets’ following a new bold move by the San Francisco-based social networking giant. First, Twitter suspended a network of suspected Twitter bots on Thursday that pushed pro-Saudi Arabia talking points about the disappearance of journalist…
Are feminist extremists out to demonise all single men as potential rapists? Tory politician makes extraordinary claim that men being forced to go gay or transgender in order to avoid anti-male persecution. Alleges that militant feminists plotting to have men treated like terror suspects.
Speaking of that Honduran caravan.

Here’s a question for you. It’s about that caravan heading thousands of miles t o storm our Southern border.
I’ll make it simple…. Where do they dump?
The Hondurans in the caravan, the 7,000 people walking north to America, where do they go to the bathroom?
How do they eat and sleep and store their clothes? How is it that after a week on the road they are clean and their hair and clothes are well kept?
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com)
Jessica Simpson, the former bad luck charm for the Dallas Cowboys and it’s star crossed Ex-Quarterback Tony Romo, has been declared ‘out of shape and unable to perform’ since she’s ballooned to 250 pounds!
The White House Situation Room – (SatireWorld.com)

In a shocking breach of security emanating from deep in the administration, highly sensitive e-mails to the Surgeon General from the staff psychologist indicate that the Ex- President had become addicted to government sponsored snuff films!
Armed with little more than some borrowed tools, a few pieces of scrap metal, some spare wood and a single handgun between them, a plucky band of racist children began work on the stalled border wall outside of Brisbee, Arizona today.
An Illinois radio station is pulling Irving Berlin's Christmas classic "White Christmas," citing the tune's "anachronistic racial overtones".
Washington, DC - (satireworld.com)

A sense of dread spread through the ultra-liberal ranks of the Democratic Party within hours after an update on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Badder-Ginsburg’s latest health crisis in which surgeons at Walter Reed Hospital removed two cancerous growths from her left lung. The Supreme Court Justice has had two prior bouts with cancer that she had survived.
Collectively referring to the company as "Jewgle", the groups blame the purported prejudices of its employees for poor search result positioning of their websites as well as other discriminatory business practices they say limit their online profile.
House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn's 'Zombie Government' comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting 'shoot 'em in the head!' Rival parliamentary factions 'tool up' as Brexit debate turns violent!
In the midst of President Trump's declared emergency over a southern border wall, sleeper cells of Hispanic day laborers have reportedly begun activating throughout California's Central Valley to perform work in the state's agricultural industry.
Chernobyl, Ukraine – (SatireWorld.com): A new book about international espionage names Don T Rump as America’s leading Mafia don, describing him ‘a global tentacle-reach close second’ to top KGB matriarch Queen Elizardbirth Vagina.
Luz, Poland – (SatireWorld.com)
Wladasvil Galovinski was always the clown out for a laugh, and during secondary school at Luz's Red Guard Academy, Wlad would do devilish things to provoke teachers and to give merriment to his friends. In some respects Wlad never grew up and a recent wager between friends brought his life crashing down around him.
Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)
Porn star Stormy Daniels is working with an LAPD forensic sketch artist to help identify the man she claims threatened her with ‘certain incineration’ to stay silent about an alleged tryst she had with President Trump over 14 years ago.
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
After a string of recent scandal-ridden revelations, perhaps the biggest to hit the Obama Administration is the scope and size of the NSA’s intercepts of emails and phone conversations where virtually every phone call is recorded and passed on to the White House.
Remarks made by the President earlier this week disparaging paralympic athletes have actually reinforced his standing among those who support him, once again confounding the expectations of the rest of the country, a new pair of polls show.
Although normally withheld until October, the Nobel Committee today released the nomination of NBA great Dennis Rodman for its Peace Prize, saying that the award is a foregone conclusion.

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