WASHINGTON D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Politics is not politics without scandals. This scandal is about what appears to be a short-lived affair between Carly Fiorina and Ted Cruz, Republican presidential candidates both. No, it's not what you're thinking. No romance is involved -- at least none that we know of. Rather, it is an…
Puppeteering duo Trey Parker and Matt Stone have announced that they are working on a sequel to their 2004 cult smash “Team America: World Police.”
Local gun owner Frank Chance successfully defended his home against a kitten last night, shooting the five month-old Tabby with a 12-gauge shotgun.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, climate change scientists reframed their argument to appeal to Republicans by releasing "Oceans Invading U.S," a new documentary film warning Americans about a slow, insidious invasion of American soil by tyrannical oceans that surround the United States. TNA viewed the 10-minute film, which asserted, "true patriots must defend America by starving the communist-fascist oceans of an anti-American, possibly Muslim, substance called carbon dioxide."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton proactively branded every American who refused to vote for her "a sexist." Clinton asserted if anyone disagreed with her on policy they were "likely a sexist," but any American who did not vote for her was "definitely a sexist."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush was widely criticized for his latest jobs plan failing to get presidential rival Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) back to work. Bush's plan was declared "a complete failure" by conservative and liberal observers alike for its exclusive reliance on guilt, and failure to give Rubio any incentives to get back to work.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, many of the Republican presidential candidates criticized their Democratic counterparts following the Democratic Forum held at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, South Carolina last night. The main criticism - by far - was the lack of infantile hatred of both their fellow Americans and the constitutional government of the United States whenever the Democrats did not get what they wanted.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Powerful conservative Christian groups are lobbying Congress to pass legislation mandating the separation of church and stores. In a strongly-worded letter to members of Congress, the lobby group demanded that a law be passed banning Christmas displays and the selling of Christmas merchandise at all retail stores in the country.…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, TNA released the results of an in-house study measuring how favorably Americans viewed Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The results showed the longer Hillary Clinton was in the public eye the more Americans recalled why they disliked her, and projected that by November 2016 over 78% of Americans would rather be murdered by blunt force trauma than vote for her.
Former Ebola Czar Ron Klain, chosen by the Obama administration to lead efforts against the disease, has returned to the nation’s capital and is demanding his restoration.
Canton, OH – These days Mitt Romney is more interested in charity boxing matches for mysterious charities than his own political gains but that doesn’t mean that politics are completely out of his blood. While visiting some Lehman Middle School students this past Wednesday, the often described uptight and robotic former presidential candidate tooted a loud gas explosion for the soon to be eligible voters.
BINONDO, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Apparently not content on its claim over the disputed territory in the South China Sea, the Chinese government today announced it was laying claim over the oldest Chinatown in the world -- in Manila! Manila's Chinatown, located in and around the Binondo district, was established in the late 1500s. It…
Yelp launched DreamYelp.com today, a new website that will allow users to evaluate businesses they patronize in their dreams.
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