Check Please!
Editorial and political cartoons by award-winning cartoonist Rob Rogers, using humor and satire to lampoon politicians and issues of the day.
Ever since his separation from his wife of 40 years, Tipper Gore, friends say that the former Vice President has become harder and harder to reach.  Al Gore is best known for his environmental education efforts after his political career ended.  Gore is reportedly dating a fellow environmentalist who introduced him to Netflix.  The Nobel Peace Prize winner is now addicted to the television show The Walking Dead.
"Behind every successful catching man is a good woman there to take the bottle of beer out of his hand before he does it. Yeee hargh!" Jessie Krufts, Red Neck
Did Titanic Really Sink in 1912? Conspiracy Theorist Sensationally Claims that Liner Still Afloat and Hosting Cabal of Immortal Celebrities Who Faked Own Deaths!
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari): A national survey's findings on the sexual proclivities of America's anti-gay Christian leaders was released Sunday morning in time for many morning masses. The Boston University (BU) survey titled "Quantifying Anti-Gay Christian Leadership Duplicity" showed 7 out of every 10 respondents anonymously declared they were hiding at least one gay lover from virtually everyone else in their life.
"I've trained my dogs to run when they hear violins playing too. Can't be too careful these days."
Lincoln Police are urging all women living in Lancaster County to exercise extreme caution after 54 year-old Marilyn Barker was raped behind a Big Lots in Newkirk last night, the fourth victim of sexual assault in the area this month.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly claimed he had "three to five black friends" so everyone should "shut their trap," because he had the credentials to talk about race relations in America. O'Reilly needed two days of constant public pressure to recall how many black friends he had after political pundit Kirsten Powers asked him that very question on "The O'Reilly Factor."
Clarrisa Melton, age 37 and still single, has been fat all her life. Her mother and father were fat and so were her grandparents who were so large, they both worked in the circus. After many years of watching slim and trim women on TV, and beautiful toned women in magazines, Melton decided to shed her 175 excessive pounds by supporting Barack Obama.
WASHINGTON -- In what’s being called a historic oversight, the U.S. Supreme Court has admitted that while it has ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, it has forgotten to rule in favor of same-sex divorce.
AUGUSTA, MAINE (The Nil Admirari): Republican Governor of Maine Paul LePage announced today the slime covering his entire body was impossible to remove. The slime on LePage has been blamed for his efforts to cut programs for the poor, sick, elderly, children, and virtually every other person in Maine who is not very wealthy.
"That's probably why you never see a cat with a six pack." Kent Rugby, Motivator
AUSTIN, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - A new Texas school textbook titled "Remembering the Great Confederacy" analyzes Robert E. Lee's presidency and the South's freeing of the slaves following the Civil War. The Texas Board of Education has announced the book will be used in every district in the state beginning this coming school year.
"If you can't buy ice cream from a stranger who can you buy it from?" Jessie Krufts, Stranger

New York NY-(satireworld.com)

General Original Products (GOP) Inc, headquartered in the Trump Towers in Manhattan, has announced that a limited addition of Obama Clocks is now available for sale to the American public.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Congressional Republicans announced today that despite a nuclear agreement between President Obama and Iran they were still very optimistic about a war with the Iranians. Republicans pointed to the extremists in Iran and to themselves as being the ultimate reason why peace would never be successfully negotiated between the two powers.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and loose cannon billionaire Donald Trump declared he was very afraid U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - a Democratic presidential candidate - will steal his supporters away by offering Americans actual solutions to the issues they are so angry and frustrated about. Trump criticized Sanders for attempting to expose him as the billionaire fraud he actually was, and giving Americans rational alternatives to punitive non-solutions based on hate and fear.
Before Joshua Pinkston shows up, Jeremy and Sunny talk about a closed pizza place and barge cleaning. After he shows up, they discuss Baton Rouge's "Thugs Lawyer."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced her 2016 resolution was to "completely destroy" U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - her primary challenger for the party's presidential nomination. Clinton asserted she wanted to tear down Sanders, and everything he ever loved, while also desiring to "seem nice doing it" so her already upside-down likability numbers did not go even lower.

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